So the other disciples said to him, "We have seen the Lord."
But how could it be that they had seen him but Thomas had not? The most likely option from Thomas's point of view was that they hadn't really seen him. Their grief had caused them to believe they saw what they wanted to see. But if he accounted for the frustrating fact that they all appeared to be in the right minds, he might have had to conclude that they were speaking the truth. But that might even be worse. Because then, why had Jesus chosen them but neglected him? Did he care about them that much more than Thomas? No doubt modern skeptics look at believing Christians and also wonder. Are they deluded? Or is their gift of faith given to them simply because God loves them more than the rest, for whom it is impossible? And so, for sanity and self-protection, Thomas responded to the other disciples with words that sound very modern.
"Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands
and put my finger into the nailmarks
and put my hand into his side, I will not believe."
Had he missed his first opportunity to see the risen Lord because he chose to be absent when he ought to have been together with the others? Even so, it seemed that one bad choice ought not disqualify anyone from receiving the gift of faith forever. And indeed, whatever the reason for his absence, it was not the end of the story. Even if it was strictly speaking the wrong choice Jesus still used it to bring about a greater good. The way the whole affair caused him to become deeply entrenched in his skepticism was actually part of Jesus's plan.
Now a week later his disciples were again inside
and Thomas was with them.
Thomas must not have given up entirely, even with all of his deep doubts. After all, one who had done so would hardly have been willing to put up with the overwhelming exuberance of the others who claimed to have seen the risen Lord. His presence with the others the following week demonstrated both humility and docility, a willingness to remain in the place to which he had been called by Jesus even when it was uncomfortable and he didn't understand. One might even suggest that he at least wanted to believe the truth that now provided so much consolation for the other disciples. His barriers were still in place, however, and he wasn't going to budge on the basis of anything they could say to him. Woe to them if they thought they could talk him into it, if they thought they they were capable of changing the fundamental orientation of a human heart. But it was not left up to them.
Jesus came, although the doors were locked,
and stood in their midst and said, "Peace be with you."
The doors to the building were locked, but how much more were those to the heart of Thomas! And yet Jesus came through those doors as well and entered just as easily. For him apparently unbreachable barriers provided no obstacle. The walls raised by Thomas to protect himself from despair fell, but in the face, not of sadness, but of surpassing joy. Was it this vulnerability that made his subsequent expression of faith so profound? The others had come to know that Jesus was indeed risen from the dead. But Thomas confessed something more and greater in his presence.
Thomas answered and said to him, "My Lord and my God!"
God did not merely prevent Thomas from doubting, nor did he simply hold it against him until he repented, but rather he made it work for his good, not because of his merits, but in order to bestow them. Thomas saw the human body of Jesus, living when he ought to have been dead. But he believed through what he saw in the invisible divine presence which was united with his visible humanity.
"He saw and touched the man, and acknowledged the God whom he neither saw nor touched; but by the means of what he saw and touched, he now put far away from him every doubt, and believed the other."
- Saint Augustine
Thomas, who apparently had the most profound doubts of any of the disciples, became the one to most explicitly confess his divinity. It is precisely because of his confession and others like it that we who have not seen may also believe. Our belief is very much predicated on the fact that some did see and gave testimony to future generations about what they witnessed.
Jesus said to him, "Have you come to believe because you have seen me?
Blessed are those who have not seen and have believed."
Jesus was not accusing Thomas of having some kind of second-class, needy, inferior faith. What he saw was something less than what he began to believe and proclaim. Even after Thomas had received this empirical evidence there was still an act of faith necessary. Rather than critiquing the specific experience of Thomas, Jesus was setting the stage of how the specific gifts given to some would later bless many others. Even those of us who have seen miraculous evidence of the power of the risen Lord at work in our world still depend for our faith on the testimony of Thomas. Thank God for his doubts since now, because of them, we may proclaim together with him, "My Lord and my God!".
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