21 February 2026 - true conversion

Today's Readings
(Audio) 

He said to him, “Follow me.”
And leaving everything behind, he got up and followed him.

We may sense that Jesus is worthy of us responding to him by making a complete break with our sinful past and following him with all that we are. But even if there is a level at which we understand this it is not often the case that we manage to make ourselves respond in the way that Levi (also called Matthew) responded, entirely, and without reservation. If we are adult converts our conversion often results in some immediate and significant changes to our lifestyles. We set aside harmful behaviors and begin to embrace a lifestyle befitting disciples. Lifelong Christians might experience similar moments of conversion on retreat or in prayer groups. But in both cases we typically discover our initial fervor only goes so far. We set out to leave our customs post behind, but find that, even if we wander off for a while, it is still our primary base of operation. Even to the degree that we manage to get away from it for a moment it still seems to influence our thoughts and actions with a gravity that always seems to pull us back eventually. How might we actually leave the old self behind as completely as Levi left his customs post?

“Those who are healthy do not need a physician, but the sick do.
I have not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners.”

Put simply, we have to want conversion more deeply to experience it more fully. And the only way to really desire it is to have a deeper understanding of the futility of the alternatives we often pursue. Only when we really realize that wealth, yes, can provide for the basics, but cannot make us truly happy, will it begin to lose its grip on us. When we still hear whispers in our souls from all the possessions, property, or experiences, that money can buy, suggesting themselves to us to fill the emptiness within us, we will not be able to entirely shake their hold over us. But we don't like to think of ourselves as under the sway of money or any other addiction. We don't want to see ourselves as sick and in need of a physician. But here is the real secret. Levi didn't leave the customs post on his own, simply because he decided to do so. He didn't make some heroic and decisive act of will. He saw someone who could at last help with the things that were making him unhappy, causing him to be less than he was meant to be, and refused to let the one pass him by. He did, in effect, leave everything behind. But his actual choice was to remain near Jesus. Yes, later, there might be consequences. Things might become harder eventually. But if he was with Jesus he knew that Jesus could help him face those possibilities, that he could face them as long as they were together. Most of us have a hard time achieving a total break with the old sinful self. But the thing we need to focus on is not so much ourselves as it is being and remaining near Jesus. This is because, obvious to say but easy to forget, we don't heal ourselves. The divine physician does.

Then Levi gave a great banquet for him in his house,
and a large crowd of tax collectors
and others were at table with them.

It is a good sign that we are finally starting to get it when the grace that flows to us begins to flow out from us to those around us. When we can no longer keep silent about Jesus or keep what he is doing in our lives to ourselves it is evidence that we finally realize just how important he is for us. Not only that, we demonstrate that we now know the important lesson that, if he did it for us, he can truly do it for anyone.

The ancient ruins shall be rebuilt for your sake,
and the foundations from ages past you shall raise up;
“Repairer of the breach,” they shall call you,
“Restorer of ruined homesteads.

We must not be content with merely partial conversion of our hearts and minds to Jesus. The ramifications are not just for ourselves and the private sphere of our own spiritual lives, but also for the Church and the world as a whole. The ruins around us seem to have been in disrepair since so long ago that we hold little hope that they might be rebuilt. The breach seems like a permanent fixture of society. The ruined homesteads seem unsalvageable. And indeed, attacking the problems directly, through merely human effort, is doomed to fail. But when we finally surrender our hearts to the Lord he becomes able to do things through us that we never imagined. Then we will become light in the darkness, for he will be light in us.

Then light shall rise for you in the darkness,
and the gloom shall become for you like midday;
Then the LORD will guide you always
and give you plenty even on the parched land.

 

Elevation Worship - I Have Decided

 

20 February 2026 - the wedding of heaven and earth

 

Today's Readings
(Audio)

Can the wedding guests mourn
as long as the bridegroom is with them?

In a way, David's relationship with Israel had been like a marriage, with the people declaring to him, "Behold, we are your bone and flesh" (see First Chronicles 11:1), just as Adam had said of Eve in Genesis (see Genesis 2:23). And if it was a Davidic image then Jesus using it was appropriate, as he was the messianic son of David. But it was a role which David only ever fulfilled partially. In the same way that he stood in for God who was himself the true king of Israel, so too did he stand in for him as bridegroom, which was another role that was belonged fully only to God himself.

For as a young man marries a young woman,
so shall your sons marry you,
and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride,
so shall your God rejoice over you (see Isaiah 62:5).

Jesus was the son of David, but somehow greater than David. That was why Jesus brought the attention of the Pharisees to an apparently incoherent element in Psalm 110, first quoting it, saying:

The Lord said to my Lord,
“Sit at my right hand,
until I put your enemies under your feet”’?

And then asking, "If then David calls him Lord, how is he his son?" (see Matthew 22:44). Jesus was like David, not like a shadow cast by a greater original, but as the truth of which David was only an imperfect foreshadowing. However much David was a man after God's own heart (see First Samuel 13:14), only Jesus had a heart perfectly united to that of his Father. Jesus was therefore the bridegroom because he was in actuality the presence of God in the midst of Israel. If anything called for a feast, it was this.

The days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them,
and then they will fast.

But then, if Jesus was bridegroom because of his divinity, how could it be said that he would be taken from them? Jesus himself was the one who promised to be with them always, to the end of the age (see Matthew 28:20), and who said that if two or three of them gathered in his name that he would be present in their midst (see Matthew 18:20). The possibility of him being taken doesn't seem to admit of a situation in which the Eucharist presence of Jesus is as abundantly available as it is to us. 

The time to which Jesus referred was specifically his crucifixion and death, when he handed himself over freely, and let himself be taken. Just as he freely chose to lay down his life for his friends so too would his disciples enter into that experience by fasting, among other ways. It was part of the program by which they entered into the death of Jesus so as to share in the life of Jesus.

For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his (see Romans 6:5).

Considered in this way we see the incommensurability of what he did for us and our response to him. Even a very rigorous fast of the sort that none of us are likely to undertake, that would strike even our Eastern brethren as difficult, would in no way approximate the sorrow and pain Jesus experienced for us. Yet the abundance and sufficiency of Jesus makes the inadequacy of our response to be sufficient. Our response to him could never earn the reward of eternal life. But by our response we signal at least our desire to be united to him, to the bridegroom who has made us, his bride, to be beautiful.

so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish (see Ephesians 5:27).

David Ruis - We Will Dance

 

19 February 2026 - plausible deniability

 

Today's Readings
(Audio) 

The Son of Man must suffer greatly and be rejected
by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes,
and be killed and on the third day be raised.

That the messiah would suffer had been predicted by the prophet Isaiah. But it was still hard to accept. It did not seem like it ought to have been necessary, or that it could lead to a positive outcome. Surely there was a more direct way to experience the rewards Isaiah mentioned when he wrote, "he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand" (see Isaiah 53:10). It seemed Jesus was choosing the opposite of what Moses suggested, death rather than life. 

There is a way that seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death (see Proverbs 14:12).

But in fact, he was only choosing against a shallow and temporary life. He chose death, not as an end, in order to destroy it. He accepted the necessity of his death because it would allow him to unleash the blessings of salvation on the world. Without his death the problem of sin would have remained unanswered. Without his sacrificial self-offering all of the dividing walls between people and each and between people and God would have remained impermeable. People could not have been brought together in one body. Jesus was entitled to divine and eternal life in virtue of who he was. But it was only because of his death that others may now share in that life.

If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself
and take up his cross daily and follow me.

The path by which Jesus gave life for the world did not look like it would lead to life, but in fact led to life in abundance. So too for the path by which Christians may appropriate that life. It begins for us at baptism when we are baptized into his death. But then it must take shape in our lives through the choices we make. We must forego the shallow ways of living that are not true life. We must be willing to die to the old and fallen parts of ourselves so that new life may emerge. But just as Jesus did not die for his own sake, neither now are we called to do so. We are called to be completely reoriented from selfishly seeking our ego first, to living as offerings of love for the sake of others, and in particular, love in response to the love of Jesus himself who loved us first.

For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.

The reason that we are free to choose to put others first is precisely because Jesus made it possible by dying for our sakes. In doing so he put our selfish egos to death with him. And the love he showed us is now meant to be the primary thing that motivates and orients us in the new life that is his gift to us.

What profit is there for one to gain the whole world
yet lose or forfeit himself?”

We are not as fully committed to only and always choosing life as Moses would advise, especially because it often seems to us that in the short-term it is the more difficult path. But we know what happens to those who merely store up treasure on earth. We know that the whole world, even if we possessed it, comes with an expiration date. Even during this life we recognize that the world always underdelivers on its promises to satisfy us. Even as mortals living on earth we recognize that it is only when we answer that call of Jesus that we begin to experience the joy and satisfaction that can truly last forever.

Blessed are they who hope in the Lord.

Newsboys - Lead Me To The Cross

 

18 February 2026 - the Father who sees in secret

 

Today's Readings
(Audio) 

When you give alms...

When you pray...

When you fast...

Today we begin our annual campaign of Lenten renewal and transformation. Although we are invited to the traditional practices of prayer, fasting, and alms-giving, these are not meant to be manifestations of self-hatred. We do not undertake them because we are bad, in order to punish ourselves, but because they are good, in order that we might grow in holiness. 

But when you pray, go to your inner room,
close the door, and pray to your Father in secret.
And your Father who sees in secret will repay you.

The point of our Lenten practices not so much what happens externally, much less what others witness, but rather what happens within our hearts. It isn't so much about whether these actions are functional or meet some success criteria as to whether they lead us closer to the Father who sees in secret.

When you fast,
do not look gloomy like the hypocrites.
They neglect their appearance,
so that they may appear to others to be fasting.

We sometimes seek consolation prizes through our Lenten practices, something less than drawing near to God, something apparently more easily attainable. But such prizes have a very limited ability to console. We may seek pity from others, or simply content ourselves with a narrative of self-pity within our own thoughts. We may seek to appear pious or generous in the eyes of others, or simply content to think of ourselves as paragons of virtue. But all of these options fall short of acting for the Father who sees in secret, who is interested, above all, in what happens within our hearts.

There is something more at work here than a merely automatic consequence of virtuous asceticism. We are asked to enter into something deeper than would be possible without the assistance of grace. We are invited to experience a transformative that we could never bring about through our own efforts, to "become the righteousness of God" in Christ. To do so we must rely on God in such a way that if he were not there we would fall flat. But he is there, always, in secret, awaiting us. 

Behold, now is a very acceptable time;
behold, now is the day of salvation.

Matt Maher - 40 Days

 

17 February 2026 - leaven out

Today's Readings
(Audio) 

They concluded among themselves that
it was because they had no bread.

They had forgotten to bring bread. To us it seems a minor mistake. But the disciples seemed to be kicking themselves for it and seeing everything else through the lens of that failure. 

Jesus enjoined them, "Watch out,
guard against the leaven of the Pharisees
and the leaven of Herod." 

No doubt they assumed that the supernatural bread miracles of which they had just been a part were in view, since Jesus was still talking about bread. But they were stuck on the level of the physical reality. Their fixation on their own minor mistake prevented them from seeing the spiritual significance.

And do you not remember,
when I broke the five loaves for the five thousand,
how many wicker baskets full of fragments you picked up?

The fact that they did not actually have physical bread was not actually a problem since they still had Jesus himself, the bread of life. They needed to recognize this fact in order to avoid the temptation to rely on other strategies to feed the crowds. The leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod might lead to some measure of success, as it seemed at the time. But that success was ultimately based on divisiveness and destruction. Rather, the disciples needed to rely on the bread of life to unite the world, just as relying on Jesus had allowed the crowds to remain united. His gift allowed both Jews (at the feeding of the five thousand) and Gentiles (at the feeding of the four thousand) to remain centered on him, represented by the twelve and seven baskets left over respectively.

The disciples assumed a mindset of scarcity based on their mistakes, and the possibility of those mistakes to impede their purpose in life. But they were meant to realize that with Jesus they always had a superabundance that was more than equal to any situation in which they found themselves. The real danger of a lack of bread was that they would fail to turn to Jesus for help but instead try different strategies to solve their problems, whether merely human, or demonic. They were, we know, slow learners. After one multiplication of loaves they still seemed unable to conceive that there might be a second. And after both they still somehow assumed that a lack of bread might be their biggest problem.

No one experiencing temptation should say,
"I am being tempted by God";

The disciples seemed to act as though God was tempting them, in the sense that he was out to get them, looking for any reason to condemn them. They did not yet fully understand that he was entirely good and that "all good giving and every perfect gift is from above". They were not yet convinced of the love God had for them (see First John 4:16), at least, not fully. Thus Jesus pointed their attention away from themselves, away from their negligible, minor mistakes, and toward the superabundance of God as it was present in his own person, demonstrated in this case by the leftover fragments of bread. 

We have said before that we too have a hard time believing in God's abundance, even after we have experienced it. And so we must again repeat that, and point to today's Gospel as more evidence to help confirm that belief. We too get hung up on our failures in ways that make us less open to trusting in Jesus, as though our mistakes have surprised him, or somehow negated his ability to work through us. There is great risk when we write ourselves off as disqualified, risk that we might turn to the alternative leaven available in our own day in order to feed ourselves and the world.  Believing that God loves us, really knowing and understanding it in our hearts, is not a nice but optional extra. It is essential that we let him convince us of his love so that he can work through us as much as he desires, even in spite of our limitations and failings.

And now, a few alleluia songs before Lent. After all, as Saint John Paul the Great said, "We are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song!". Shout out any favorites I missed in the comments.

Caleb & John - Hallelujah Feeling

 

Newsboys - He Reigns

Michael W Smith - Agnus Dei

 

Singing Hallelujah

 

Saint Michael's Singers - Alleluia Sing To Jesus

16 February 2026 - a doubtful test

 

Today's Readings
(Audio)

He sighed from the depth of his spirit and said,
"Why does this generation seek a sign?
Amen, I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation."

These people who asked for a sign where like those about whom James wrote in his epistle. They asked for wisdom, but did not ask in faith. They were like a wave of the sea driven and tossed about by the wind. They asked in order to demonstrate that their doubts about Jesus were accurate rather than because of any openness to the fact that they might be mistaken about him. Neither faith nor true wisdom can arise from rigorous skepticism. None of us are qualified to put God to the test as though by some kind of science experiment. In some way faith must always issue from a spark that is his gift. It doesn't begin in us, but by a response to an invitation from God whose eternity precedes any interest in him on our part. We aren't so wise that we can even frame the question of the identity of Jesus in a way we could test. We can't create a valid null hypothesis that we could set out to disprove. We may be aware of the claims of the supernatural, things that transcend what ought to be possible if what is claimed of him were false. But he never seems to feel obliged to do these things just to measure up to our scrutiny. He does them when needed, and not in a lab. But then, it is not as though we are neutral observers, ready to go one way or another based on evidence. We do not stand over and above the creation of which we are a part. We have prior commitments. We are either tied down to this world by the gravity of sin or else are in some stage of responding to the invitation to faith that sets us free. This does not mean it is foolish to respond to the invitation to faith with the assent of belief, as though to do so meant relying on random chance. But it is the case that the question of truth can never be separated from the moral content of choosing for or against God. 

But if any of you lacks wisdom,
he should ask God who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly,
and he will be given it.

God gives wisdom generously to those who are sincere. When James tells us that he does not give to those who ask while doubting he does not mean that he only gives to those entirely without any doubtful thoughts whatsoever. Rather, he means that our request should be motivated by confidence. Otherwise, if we ask because we doubt, but say we desire wisdom, we will be acting in contradiction to ourselves. Jesus taught us that to the one who has much, more will be given. It is true here in matters of faith, prayer, and wisdom. But no one need start with little or nothing. We all have the option to begin, either on the basis of our own poverty, or with the abundance God never ceases to offer us.

The brother in lowly circumstances 
should take pride in high standing,
and the rich one in his lowliness, 
for he will pass away "like the flower of the field."

The Pharisees imagined that they already possessed wisdom. By insisting on this illusion they prevented themselves from being open to actually receiving it. But, as Scripture says, he gives wisdom to the simple (see Psalm 19:7). Thus we must become like children. We must, as the saying goes, empty our cup, so that God can fill us.

 

Songs In His Presence - Psalm 19: Lord, You Have The Words

 

15 February 2026 - fire or water?

Today's Readings
(Audio) 

I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses
that of the scribes and Pharisees,
you will not enter the kingdom of heaven.

We have seen that an external and performative approach to the law leaves much to be desired and is ultimately insufficient. The Pharisees were able to manipulate the law by selectively prioritizing verses that seemed to endorse their sinful impulses. For instance, they were able to take the law about Sabbath rest and use it to justify their hostile opposition of Jesus. They ended up flipping the goodness motivating the law on its head such that they ended up trying to destroy life rather than saving it. If it is "life and death, good and evil" that are before man, as Sirach wrote, they clearly stretched forth their hand to death. And yet, for all this, the law was not at fault. There were limits to what the law could accomplish in fallen human hearts. It might prevent murder and adultery, but it did this by way of external consequences, rather than by inner conversion. Jesus did not desire to simply disregard the law and start fresh. Rather he fulfilled, not only by further specifying the provisions of the law, but by fulfilling God's promise through the prophets to give new hearts to the human race.

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh (see Ezekiel 36:26).

For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, declares the Lord: I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts. And I will be their God, and they shall be my people (see Jeremiah 31:33).

Thus it is not enough for us to avoid murder will still cherishing and indulging anger within our hearts. This is similar to how it was not enough for the exile generation to leave Egypt when the Egyptian idols still dominated their hearts, when they still longed for the leeks, the garlic, and the melons of they who held them captive (see Numbers 11:5).

The internal transformative to which we are called is a gift. But it is one with which we must cooperate if our righteousness is to surpass the scribes in the Pharisees. The Spirit is the one who initiates. But we must respond when he convicts us. When he makes us notice that we are dwelling on anger or allowing ourselves to careen dangerously toward occasions of temptation to lust we must use the strength he gives us to not only avoid the bad but even replace it with good. We can, perhaps, reconcile with those with whom we are angry, or at least pray for them. We can pray for the human dignity of those toward whom we were tempted to treat as objects of lust. Or, if we cannot even safely think of them, we can at least maintain custody of our eyes and turn our minds elsewhere, to the true, the excellent, and the praiseworthy (see Philippians 4:8). Anyone who has ever attempted this struggle without active reliance of God's grace while readily confirm that it feels overwhelming and impossible. But because Jesus fulfilled the law and gave us new hearts it is possible with his help.

But I say to you, do not swear at all;

Divorce and the swearing of private oaths were realities that seemed necessary under the Old Covenant, in which the old way to influence behavior was by external regulations. But in the ideal of the New Covenant the marriage without the possibility or need of divorce became real. It was no longer merely assumed that adultery was going to be part of the story, and indeed, it did not need to be. In the New Covenant people could now desire the truth enough to avoid the need for amplification when they supposedly really meant what they were saying, which in reality often led only to greater degrees of dissembling, the evidence of which was the way the language of their oath swearing had been twisted with too much shame to directly address the Most High.

The fact that Jesus raised the standard of the law should not cause us dismay, as though he only increased the arduous difficulty of our call to righteousness. He actually makes it possible for us to harmonize in inner lives with our external actions, such that all are motivated by desire for the good, all are motivated by love. At first the vision seems illusory or at best oblique. But the more we lean into responding to the words of Jesus with the help of the Spirit the more we will even here and now begin to discover something of the reality that Paul described to the church at Corinth:

What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard,
and what has not entered the human heart,
what God has prepared for those who love him, 
this God has revealed to us through the Spirit.

Elevation Worship - Trust In God