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Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow me.
Peter was meant to be the leader, the solid rock on which the Church established by Jesus was to be built. But he was still not ready for the task, not sufficiently mature to follow Jesus wherever he might go. He was enough of a friend of Jesus to wish for him that he would not have to suffer and die. But when that suffering and death turned out to be necessary in the plan of God he was not enough of a friend to stay near Jesus until the end. Since he couldn't change things for Jesus he himself ran to seek his own survival. He still thought, at that point, that there might be some value at saving his life in the world even apart from Jesus. But the experience he had in betraying Jesus was that he no longer had anything worth having. He had all but lost the good which he had previously possessed.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
In repenting of his betrayal Peter turned back once more toward Jesus. Life in the world without him was like fishing all night and catching nothing. There was nothing of real value to gain. Repentance for Peter meant finally admitting that this life, no matter what it contained, was worth less than friendship with Jesus himself. He died to his desires for ultimate happiness in the here and now and chose to live his life more entirely for Jesus. This change of heart began a transformation in him that led to his finally being able to follow Jesus even all the way to the cross.
What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world
and forfeit his life?
When we aren't at the point of forfeiting our lives gaining the world tends to sound pretty good. It may almost seem as though there is nothing else to be gained based the goods of this world. Even the goods of fidelity and religious devotion tend to be ranked by the subjective good feelings and mood the create in us. They become, basically, one form of entertainment alongside others. We only get brief insights into how all of our lives in this world are transient and built on shifting sands. Usually these come in difficult moments that make us unable to pretend any longer that life here below, even were it prolonged indefinitely would ever give us what we truly desire. The risk is that we nevertheless keep seeking the goods of this world as a way to numb ourselves and prevent our minds from having to wrestle with our eternal destiny. We are meant to be in this world, even appreciating the transitory goodness it contains, but not of this world, not living as if our final home were here.
For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father’s glory,
and then he will repay each according to his conduct.
The good we are truly meant to seek is the repayment for our righteous deeds on the last day. But doing so involves opting for the way of the cross over the way of the ego, living for love of God and neighbor rather than the shallow comforts of temporary pleasure. Our egos probably go on high alert when there is some suggestion of the necessity of the cross. But our egos have never been able to deliver on the happiness they promise. So let us let them die and follow our master and friend. He knows where he is leading us.
Celebrate your feasts, O Judah,
fulfill your vows!
For nevermore shall you be invaded
by the scoundrel; he is completely destroyed.
The LORD will restore the vine of Jacob
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