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If your brother sins against you
Why care so much about interpersonal issues in the life of the Church? Wouldn't it be better to just ignore as much as possible and only push for a resolution when absolutely necessary? But could we call it peace if everyone was always nursing low grade offense at others but no one was willing to say it aloud?
For while there is jealousy and strife among you, are you not of the flesh and behaving only in a human way? (see First Corinthians 3:2-4).
We tend to think that the good we pursue by dealing with sin and not avoiding it is merely eliminating the discomfort that arises when individuals act in opposition to one another. The corollary to this belief is that is long as people pretend to get along there is nothing absent and no good lacking. But Jesus wanted to build unity in his Church that was more than an absence of active hostility. It was for this reason that Jesus warned even against anger at a brother (see Matthew 5:22). And it was for this reason that disciples were enjoined to pursue a peace that was not merely political, but the bond of peace that is the unity of the Spirit himself (see Ephesians 4:3).
Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord (see Hebrews 12:14).
When we view discomfort or awkwardness as the great evil to be avoided we won't be able to do what is necessary to achieve true resolution in difficult situations. We'll be afraid to talk to the one who sins against us, much less involve others in the discussion. But what happens when we let things continue in this state? We lose not only the true and deep peace of genuine unity, but also the power that such unity among believers is meant to provide.
Again, amen, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth
about anything for which they are to pray,
it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.
For where two or three are gathered together in my name,
there am I in the midst of them.
If we don't resolve the issues we have with others, and run quickly to repent if they have any issues with us, we are, by definition, decreasing the places in our world where Jesus is present. He may yet be present between different pairings of individuals. But Jesus absent in any relationship is clearly a loss, particularly when since he has specific plans for the prayers of those people. He guarantees that the Father himself will hear the prayers when he is present. But without true unity, possible only if we deal with our baggage, then these answered prayers will inevitably, to some degree, be absent.
If he refuses to listen even to the Church,
then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.
Amen, I say to you,
whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven,
and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
Jesus was insistent that his Church not be a facade for pretend peace and artificial agreement. At a certain level it was better to make it official that someone was choosing to stand outside the communion of the faithful, and this for the sake of all involved. Those within the Church could then exert powerful prayer for the return of the one who was thus excommunicated. And the one who was thus treated as a Gentile would be in a better position to recognize the gravity of his situation. All the measures commanded by Jesus were designed to be pastoral and ordered toward the salvation of souls. None of them were arbitrary, mean spirited, or triumphalistic. Separating a sinner from the body of Christ was never something to be celebrated. That sinner was still a valuable lamb in the eyes of the Good Shepherd. He would once again leave the ninety-nine in order to seek and to save even one who was lost.
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