Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away (see Matthew 26:33).
Before the passion of Jesus Peter was self-assured and boastful. He truly believed that he loved Jesus "more than these", promising that he would even die for Jesus if necessary. None of that bravado survived his experience of the Passion. When he was reunited with Jesus after the resurrection he had new self-knowledge about who he really was when put to the test. It was this changed Peter that joined Jesus for breakfast. The charcoal fire no doubt brought back the memories of his denial near a similar fire, if those memories hadn't already been dominating his thoughts.
“Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”
What the boastful Peter promised but could not deliver the newly humbled Peter was afraid to promise. But Jesus knew that it was precisely this Peter, with this self-knowledge, that could truly live up to his desire and promise to love him more than the rest.
Simon Peter answered him, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”
Jesus said to him, “Feed my lambs.”
What Jesus desired from Peter was not something of which Peter now felt capable. And this was in fact true. Peter had learned the hard way what he had promised was beyond him. It was now something that, if it was to happen it all, would have to be drawn out of him by Jesus. Rather than being something Peter did to cement a place of pride and appear impressive it could only be a response to the mercy and love of Jesus.
He said to him the third time,
“Simon, son of John, do you love me?”
Asking three times allowed Peter to repent three times, to leave his mistakes in the past, and to no longer be bound by the weakness which he now knew all too well. Jesus himself knew the limitations of Peter even before he called him and took account of his denial before it happened. None of this disqualified Peter. It was in fact a part of the plan of Jesus that his very mercy and forgiveness that would make it possible for Peter to become something he could not be on his own. There was a real way in which the forgiveness of Jesus renewed and transformed Peter, giving to him a heart of flesh rather than stone.
Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time,
“Do you love me?” and he said to him,
“Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.”
Jesus drew out this deep, heartfelt, even soul wrenching response from Peter by refusing to abandon him, by pushing past a mere superficial reunion to true communion. He got at what was deepest in Peter, the place in his heart that was reserved for God alone, that would be content with nothing less than to love God even though to do so now seemed impossible. And by continuing to ask he persuaded Peter that he could in fact respond. Or, more to it, by asking, he empowered Peter to do what was asked which would otherwise have been impossible.
All that Peter had once boasted would prove true, but now with no taint of pride or ambition. He would now be defined entirely by his love for Jesus, and because of that love, for his sheep as well. It was only in response to that love that he would embrace martyrdom in order to glorify God. Self-will was finally swallowed up, defeated by the mercy and by love that pursued him so relentlessly that they were there to catch him when his own strength failed.
He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God.
Our own witness to Jesus needs to be shaped by the mercy and love we have received from him rather than by our pride or our ambition. But this is easier said than done. It is more a result of a lifetime of trying to respond to his call to follow him than it is of a momentary good intention. As we struggle and our own weaknesses are revealed we can take comfort that, as for Peter, these were all accounted for in God's plan, and that his mercy is capable of transforming our weaknesses into openness to his strength and power.
Instead they had some issues with him about their own religion
and about a certain Jesus who had died
but who Paul claimed was alive.
Paul too was transformed by the mercy of Jesus. His whole life had become a response to this transformation, the importance of which he demonstrated by the multiple times he recounted his conversion experience on the road to Damascus. It was evident also from the way in which he was willing to sacrifice comfort for the sake of the mission, willing to suffer for the sake of the name. Just as with Peter it was finally the mercy he himself had received from Jesus that made it possible for him to respond by giving his life.
And when Paul appealed that he be held in custody
for the Emperor’s decision,
I ordered him held until I could send him to Caesar.
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