Delight yourself in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart (see Psalm 37:4).
Christianity is seen by many in the world as a religion of negation, where we deny desire out of duty to God. And assuredly there are plenty of times when we are called to deny our lower desires. But this is not because we desire too much, but rather too little.
"It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased."- CS Lewis
Jesus promised that if we would seek first the kingdom we would receive all else (see Matthew 6:33). But apparently in seeking the kingdom Peter felt more or the absence of the things he gave up and less of the promised results.
‘We have given up everything and followed you.”
Jesus did not say to Peter that he should just ignore his desires and double down on acting from a sense of duty. Nor did he say that all of the rewards of following him would be in the life to come. He told him that he would receive "a hundred times more now in this present age", not as though this age would be perfect, for it would include persecutions as well. It was true that the complete fulfillment of the desire that drew Peter to Jesus and kept him following him would only be fully fulfilled in the life to come. The promise would be completed then, but it did not begin then.
Jesus promised that those who put Jesus and his kingdom first would receive "houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions" right now in this present age. Jesus was clearly speaking of a different relationship to things than one like those which Peter left behind to follow Jesus. Peter's desire for the legitimate goods of his past life was meant to find a new and spiritual fulfillment. All of those who followed Jesus would be his brothers and sisters. The Mother of Jesus would be his own mother, as we celebrated yesterday. The house of anyone would be the house of all, for they shared all things in common. And more than that, the house of the Father would be Peter's own house. It wasn't that Jesus had no concern for family or property but he had a more expansive plan in mind, a still greater fulfillment of those legitimate impulses.
We can learn a new relationship to earthly goods that affirms their value while remaining free from the power they have over us. We can be like Paul who said, "I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound" (see Philippians 4:11). The secret, of course, was to put Jesus first. Hence he went on to say, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me" (see Philippians 4:13).
What piece of this puzzle was Peter missing? He gave up everything for the sake of Christ but was apparently not experiencing the blessings that life in Christ was meant to entail. It seemed a legitimate question to put to a Messiah who was meant to be the yes to all of the promises of all the prophets. We ask it too. 'Lord, I'm seeking first your kingdom but it feels more like effort and self-denial than like something a hundred times better than the things I left behind.'
For the LORD is one who always repays,
and he will give back to you sevenfold.
But offer no bribes, these he does not accept!
Trust not in sacrifice of the fruits of extortion.
Perhaps we are still thinking of our relationship with Jesus in terms of what we can get from it, as though our efforts are a bribe to God in order to receive blessings. We follow him, but from a desire that is still tainted with selfishness. We seek the kingdom, but not the kingdom first. We still delight in other things more than in the Lord himself. Unfortunately, when Jesus is not absolutely first we will experience the Christian life as more duty and privation than blessing. Insofar as we specify the terms of our relationship and the demands of our own happiness those demands will never be fully met. The secret is not to give up on our good desires, but to learn to desire Jesus more, so much more indeed that if we do not receive this or that particular blessing we will delight so much in the fact that Jesus has allowed it that we will be immune to any feelings of disappointment, able to do all things through him.
When our desire for God is first we make our offerings with "a cheerful countenance" and "a spirit of joy", knowing that "God loves a cheerful giver" (see Second Corinthians 9:7). It is then that our whole lives become offerings that enrich the alter with "a sweet odor before the Most High", an aroma that delights both ourselves and him and all who perceive it.
For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life (see Second Corinthians 2:15-16).
How wonderful that the Lord asks anything from us, he who has no need of anything. How delightful his will can be if we stop insisting on the insubstantial alternatives of the world. Jesus does not necessarily ask of us great or mighty deeds. Simply putting him first, letting our lives be properly ordered to what matters most, is a greater gift to him than any effort of ours.
“Offer to God praise as your sacrifice
and fulfill your vows to the Most High.
He that offers praise as a sacrifice glorifies me;
and to him that goes the right way I will show the salvation of God.”
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