Friday, May 21, 2021

21 May 2021 - symmetry of love


After Jesus had revealed himself to his disciples and eaten breakfast with them

This breakfast had been at "a charcoal fire with fish on it and bread" (see John 21:9). It might have been uncomfortably suggestive to Peter, who remembered the fire where he stood with the slaves and the guards and betrayed Jesus.

Now the slaves and the guards were standing around a charcoal fire that they had made, because it was cold, and were warming themselves. Peter was also standing there keeping warm (see John 18:18).

During the Last Supper Jesus told Peter that he was not ready to go where Jesus was going, but that he would follow him later. At the time, Peter was bold in the love he promised to Jesus, telling him that he would go with him even to death, saying "Master, why can’t I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you" (see John 13:36). Yet the prediction of Jesus proved true and Peter's weakness caused him to turn away from following Jesus. The charcoal fire was evocative of this greatest of failures. 

“Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”

If Peter had already been having doubts about himself in how that betrayal had altered his relationship with Jesus hearing this question the first time probably only drove him closer to despair. Yet he did not run from the question for he knew that he did in fact love Jesus, though he was weak, and he knew that Jesus knew it as well.

“Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.”

Was Peter convinced of his own answer? Jesus asked him three times to show him that he could be really convinced and believe that his love for Jesus was restored, no longer flawed, not damaged beyond repair. Jesus let Peter answer three times to cancel out the threefold denial he had made during the events of the Passion. Jesus worked deeply in Peter's Spirit by this simple dialog, not content to just act as though things were back to normal, but desiring to reestablish their relationship in truth, without shadows.

Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time,
“Do you love me?” and he said to him,
“Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.”

We need not fear to bring anything to Jesus in confession. We need not even fear the weakness of our own love when we do so. Jesus is leading us just as surely as he did Peter. He himself will meet our failures with a symmetry of love that turns what were once weaknesses into new kinds of strength. In this way only can we be made ready to follow him.

but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands,
and someone else will dress you
and lead you where you do not want to go.”
He said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God.

It would seem like the attrition to our sense of self worth caused by our human weakness would gradually diminish our ability to trust in our love for Jesus. And indeed, apart from his healing words, we would likely be reduced to a life where we would shrink from his plans for us because us the cumulative negative self image that would inexorably form in us. The lambs in our care would be at risk because we wouldn't believe ourselves up to the task. Jesus did not leave us alone in our weakness any more than he did Peter. As for Peter, loving the sheep is precisely how Jesus wants us to show our love and friendship for him.

He said to him, “Tend my sheep.”

For Peter there was a very specific call to tend the sheep as a pastor of the Church. But we all have sheep we are called to tend. We are called to give both physical bread and the word of God to those in our care, to those whom we can help. The most fundamental way we do this is by our own testimony to Jesus, a testimony that will only be persuasive if we are not overcome by guilt and self doubt.

and about a certain Jesus who had died
but who Paul claimed was alive.

Jesus proves he is alive each time he overcomes our own failures and limitations. Each time he points us away from self pity toward the task at hand.

Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.

 

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