They concluded among themselves that
it was because they had no bread.
They had forgotten to bring bread. To us it seems a minor mistake. But the disciples seemed to be kicking themselves for it and seeing everything else through the lens of that failure.
Jesus enjoined them, "Watch out,
guard against the leaven of the Pharisees
and the leaven of Herod."
No doubt they assumed that the supernatural bread miracles of which they had just been a part were in view, since Jesus was still talking about bread. But they were stuck on the level of the physical reality. Their fixation on their own minor mistake prevented them from seeing the spiritual significance.
And do you not remember,
when I broke the five loaves for the five thousand,
how many wicker baskets full of fragments you picked up?
The fact that they did not actually have physical bread was not actually a problem since they still had Jesus himself, the bread of life. They needed to recognize this fact in order to avoid the temptation to rely on other strategies to feed the crowds. The leaven of the Pharisees and the leaven of Herod might lead to some measure of success, as it seemed at the time. But that success was ultimately based on divisiveness and destruction. Rather, the disciples needed to rely on the bread of life to unite the world, just as relying on Jesus had allowed the crowds to remain united. His gift allowed both Jews (at the feeding of the five thousand) and Gentiles (at the feeding of the four thousand) to remain centered on him, represented by the twelve and seven baskets left over respectively.
The disciples assumed a mindset of scarcity based on their mistakes, and the possibility of those mistakes to impede their purpose in life. But they were meant to realize that with Jesus they always had a superabundance that was more than equal to any situation in which they found themselves. The real danger of a lack of bread was that they would fail to turn to Jesus for help but instead try different strategies to solve their problems, whether merely human, or demonic. They were, we know, slow learners. After one multiplication of loaves they still seemed unable to conceive that there might be a second. And after both they still somehow assumed that a lack of bread might be their biggest problem.
No one experiencing temptation should say,
"I am being tempted by God";
The disciples seemed to act as though God was tempting them, in the sense that he was out to get them, looking for any reason to condemn them. They did not yet fully understand that he was entirely good and that "all good giving and every perfect gift is from above". They were not yet convinced of the love God had for them (see First John 4:16), at least, not fully. Thus Jesus pointed their attention away from themselves, away from their negligible, minor mistakes, and toward the superabundance of God as it was present in his own person, demonstrated in this case by the leftover fragments of bread.
We have said before that we too have a hard time believing in God's abundance, even after we have experienced it. And so we must again repeat that, and point to today's Gospel as more evidence to help confirm that belief. We too get hung up on our failures in ways that make us less open to trusting in Jesus, as though our mistakes have surprised him, or somehow negated his ability to work through us. There is great risk when we write ourselves off as disqualified, risk that we might turn to the alternative leaven available in our own day in order to feed ourselves and the world. Believing that God loves us, really knowing and understanding it in our hearts, is not a nice but optional extra. It is essential that we let him convince us of his love so that he can work through us as much as he desires, even in spite of our limitations and failings.
And now, a few alleluia songs before Lent. After all, as Saint John Paul the Great said, "We are an Easter people and Alleluia is our song!". Shout out any favorites I missed in the comments.
Caleb & John - Hallelujah Feeling
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