"He deserves to have you do this for him,
for he loves our nation and he built the synagogue for us."
When we come to Jesus with our needs we often have thoughts that prompt us to believe that we deserve his help and ought to receive what we ask of him. We may not have built in synagogue. But we have generally been good, faithful Christians. We haven't, hopefully, sinned mortally. We've gone to mass. Maybe we've even consistently performed works of charity. Above all, we do have faith. Isn't it faith that is supposed to unlock the door to answered prayers? Isn't this, finally the thing, we can take to Jesus as payment for our prayers?
Lord, do not trouble yourself,
for I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof.
Therefore, I did not consider myself worthy to come to you;
but say the word and let my servant be healed.
We are not meant to go to Jesus on the basis of anything we are in ourselves. We have hope because he comes to us with no regard to our limitations and liabilities. The centurion did have faith in the authority of Jesus. But this was not a fact that made him feel entitled. If anything, it made him hope in Jesus in spite of feeling unworthy. Had he been only looking at himself and what he had to offer he saw himself realistically enough that he would not have even asked. But, because his focus was on Jesus, and because he saw the power Jesus possessed, it didn't seem like a stretch that his healing hand could reach past all barriers and touch his slave who was ill and about to die.
For I too am a person subject to authority,
with soldiers subject to me.
And I say to one, Go, and he goes;
and to another, Come here, and he comes;
and to my slave, Do this, and he does it."
To be clear, the centurion was not indulging in self-pity when he stated he was unworthy to receive Jesus. He was stating an objective fact that is true of every human being. That is why Catholics throughout the ages, including holy popes and great saints, have repeated his words when we participate in the mass. For who could deserve the gift of the body, blood, soul, and divinity, of the second person of the Trinity? And yet this is offered freely to all who desire it, provided they don't willingly turn aside from the free gift of grace.
When Jesus heard this he was amazed at him
and, turning, said to the crowd following him,
"I tell you, not even in Israel have I found such faith."
When we need something from Jesus let's not spend time calculating what would be required of us to attain it, how much holiness, how many rosaries, litanies, or whatever else. Let's not look so much at ourselves at all, nor the circumstances that might make our requests appear impossible. The authority of Jesus is sufficiently great to cover all distance, break through all barriers, and change any circumstances.
What is the litmus test that we are actually trusting in Jesus more than ourselves? One such test would be when we don't receive what we ask. Do we then start to assess what we did wrong or what more we might have done? Or do we rather keep our focus on Jesus himself? We should know that if we have asked for something good and it has not yet been given, we are that much closer to the time when it will be.
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him! (see Luke 11:13).
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