“What are you willing to give me
if I hand him over to you?”
They paid him thirty pieces of silver,
and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over.
This is reminiscent of the time when the brothers of Joseph sold him into slavery in Egypt for twenty pieces of silver. They, however, realized that they ought not kill their own brother, if not for love of him, at least because committing such a crime would pose a difficulty for them.
Judas, however, appeared to have no such restraint. He, though one of the twelve, actively sought out the enemies of Jesus to see what he could get in exchange for his life. This was only the beginning of a period where he planned his conspiracy. There must have been some period of time before the Last Supper when Judas continued to present himself as one of the twelve and a loyal follower of Jesus all while considering the most effective way to give him up to the authorities. Judas no doubt assumed he was using his vast intellect to salvage something from a situation in which he no longer found any value. Jesus wasn't turning out to be the messiah he wanted him to be. So he would get from him what he could. Perhaps he even initially planned to put that money toward some other scheme to overthrow the Romans, some supposedly good cause. He certainly seemed to think that his cleverness made him superior to Jesus and the other eleven. Yet for all of this, he was only enacting the prior plan of God, as we read in the prophet Zechariah:
Then the Lord said to me, “Throw it to the potter”—the lordly price at which I was priced by them. So I took the thirty pieces of silver and threw them into the house of the Lord, to the potter (see Zechariah 11:13).
Not only did scripture predict the betrayal of Judas but Jesus, at the Last Supper, made it clear that he was aware of the plot, saying, "Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me". What was it like for Judas to realize that Jesus understood the conspiracy against him, and yet did not attempt to unmask it or avert its consequences? Judas seemed in some way seemed to hope that he might still remain hidden, that it could yet be any of the twelve, using the words they had used to pretend not to be the one.
“Surely it is not I, Rabbi?”
He answered, “You have said so.”
The more clearly Judas realized that Jesus knew that he was the traitor the more urgently he felt the need to execute his plan. He could not stand long before the compassionate gaze of Jesus as he tried to inform him of the horrific consequences of such an act. He must do what he planned to do while he was still steeled to do it, lest a weaker sympathetic compassion overwhelm him.
How much comfort should we take in the fact that Judas was only one of the Twelve, and therefore an edge case? Perhaps not all that much. It may well be that Jesus was ambiguous in stating, "one of you will betray me" precisely so that we would each look into our own heart and find within it the same treacherous impulses to which Judas gave himself. Because of Jesus' announcing his impending betrayal we read that the disciples began to say to one another, "Surely it is not I, Lord?" They could not reassure themselves. They needed the Lord's assurance. But in fact, in some way, they all betrayed him. They at least ran from his presence at one point in order to protect themselves.
And they all left him and fled (see Mark 14:50).
Of the Twelve it is only recorded that John managed to be near Jesus at the cross. But are we not similar to the Twelve in this way? Once there are potential consequences or once there is a potential cost to discipleship aren't we likely to make every effort to run? Don't we generally spend time at the foot of the cross only when all other options are closed to us? And finally, don't we often refuse to be associated with Jesus except after all of our excuses have proven false? We too say, "Surely it is not I". We too hear, "You have said so". But for this year, and for this Triduum at least, let us make a conscious resolution to remain with Jesus, to be identified with him, and to remain near him as he demonstrates for us the depth of his love.
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