As Jesus passed by,
he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post.
He said to him, "Follow me."
And he got up and followed him.
Matthew is easy to see as an archetype for radical conversion, making a complete break with his former way of life to follow Jesus. But this makes it harder for many of us to relate to him. Even for those of us who had such a conversion it may have been long ago, and the memories of our own customs posts that preceded that conversion might be distant and fading. But if we recognize that conversion is not merely a one time event and that we are called to continual growth and transformation perhaps we can find Matthew to be more useful as an example and a role model than we guessed at first.
What is our customs post? What is the game we are playing according to the rules of this world in order to satisfy ourselves? As it may have been with Matthew this may seem to us to be something necessary, our only way to put food on the table. Or it may seem necessary in some lesser way, so that we could not imagine ourselves to be happy without it. Of course if we pause and step back we will realize that it has not delivered on promises of happiness or even stability. Yet the difficult thing about these customs posts is how inescapable they seem. On our own we find ourselves unable to believe in our power to escape them. Perhaps we've even tried to change in the past and failed. What we need is that which was also necessary for Matthew. We need to hear the call of Jesus.
He said to him, "Follow me."
And he got up and followed him.
Contained in the call of Jesus to Matthew was the absolute assurance on the part of Jesus that Matthew could in fact do what Jesus commanded. And this was because Jesus himself knew exactly what his call would entail and was himself perfectly able to equip him for those challenges. Further, he knew better than Matthew did that tax collecting was a dead end, and that true joy and peace could only be found in him.
While he was at table in his house,
many tax collectors and sinners came
and sat with Jesus and his disciples.
Our apparent weaknesses, blemishes, and the ugliness of the parts of our lives that are not yet converted become strengths that can be used by Jesus once we listen to his call. We tend to act more like Pharisees even after our conversion and try to hide everything that isn't already pristine and holy. But Jesus is calling us out of hiding to bring all of these things into contact with him. For in darkness sin grows in power. But exposed to his divine light healing can begin.
The Pharisees saw this and said to his disciples,
"Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?"
The degree to which Jesus was ready to celebrate was scandalous to others in his day. It did not require prior perfection to gain entrance to these feasts. It only required the desire to be near him. The Pharisees were so focused on perfection that they did not realize their need. May we not be like them, convinced that our own customs post is entirely a matter of the past. Let us instead realize our need for the divine physician. It is exactly this that qualifies us for entry to the feast.
I did not come to call the righteous but sinners.
We may worry that if we own our sickness to too great a degree that we will not "live in a manner worthy of the call" we have received. But it is actually only in our awareness of our weakness that we remember to turn to the Spirit himself for strength. It is he that knits us together as one through the bond of peace. It is Christ's own gifts, entirely unearned, that build up the body "until we all attain to the unity of faith and knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the extent of the full stature of Christ".
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