renew your wonders: 5 August 2023

Now Herod had arrested John, bound him, and put him in prison

Herod had ambivalent feelings toward John the Baptist. He wanted to kill him to appease Herodias because John spoke out against his unlawful relationship with her. But he also feared John and regarded him as righteous and holy man. He was therefore perplexed by what he heard, since it elicited both the sinful desire to kill and yet also to some extent the desire to listen to John, to heed him, and perhaps to repent, since we see that, in spite of this inner turmoil, "he heard him gladly" (see Mark 6:20).

There is a way that most of us sometimes demonstrate a similar ambivalence to that of Herod, though not usually to such an extreme. It happens in response to the "reputation of Jesus" and the "mighty powers" that are at work in him. He calls us and all people to repent because his Kingdom is at hand. And to some degree we do, conforming our lives to his teachings, usually first in the ways that are easiest, taking on new ways of acting that are congenial to us and ceasing to sin in ways to which we had less attachment to begin with. Often even this initial move toward conversion is an earthshattering and life-altering change transformation to a much better state. But for all of us, however far this initial impulse progresses, there remains the need for deeper conversion as long as life in this world lasts.

The trouble with us is that we often hesitate to make further changes we know that we are being called to make. We listen gladly but are then perplexed. Sometimes we even desire to push back against the suggestions that anything more should be required of us, and in our own way harbor a secret wish to silence messengers like John who would suggest it. It is dangerous to persist in listening to such messengers when we are only motivated by curiosity while allowing our will to become hardened against the prospect of change. We imagine that one day the words of the messengers will be sufficiently motivating to make us change. But what often happens is quite the contrary. Some contrary temptation will overwhelm us by the power of sensual persuasion. Had we but begun to heed the messengers of God in advance of this we should have found ourselves fortified against it and not succumbed without resistance. But hesitation, lukewarmness, and hardness of heart, make us easy targets, just as Herod was found to be.

the daughter of Herodias performed a dance before the guests

and delighted Herod so much

that he swore to give her whatever she might ask for.

We never intend to commit so much to such a response, not "up to half my kingdom", but we sometimes find ourselves giving it away anyway, with regret coming later, regret that we could have listened but chose to wait. And so we should heed the words of Paul that caution us against such dithering.

Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation (see Second Corinthians 6:2).

Perhaps one secret to removing some perplexity from the call to deeper conversion is to recognize the difference between the ideas of conviction and condemnation. Conviction is a work of the Holy Spirit within us (see John 16:8). It may result in feelings that we consider negative and wish to shun, but these are in fact the result of "Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret" (see Second Corinthians 7:10). Worldly sorrow, on the other hand "brings death". Condemnation is one form of worldly sorrow, a feeling defined by the lies that ours is a hopeless case and that change is impossible.

Probably whatever the Lord is asking of the readers of this blog it is something less monumental than what listening to John would have required of Herod. But that does not mean we should hesitate. Hesitation seems harmless but leads rather to hardening. Let us be on the watch for this temptation. Rather than waking up one morning to find that we have given away half of our kingdom may we instead rise fully self-possessed (because the Holy Spirit has taken possession of us) in order to celebrate the joyful year of jubilee toward which we are all being led.

This fiftieth year you shall make sacred

by proclaiming liberty in the land for all its inhabitants.

It shall be a jubilee for you,

when every one of you shall return to his own property,

every one to his own family estate.