When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple there whom he loved
he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son.”
Then he said to the disciple,
“Behold, your mother.”
Why was it precisely here at the cross that Jesus gave his mother to be the mother of John the beloved disciple, and, in turn, to all of his beloved disciples throughout the ages (see Revelation 12:17)? After all, Jesus knew what was coming. He had spoken of his death often before it came to pass. Was it because the giving of his mother to us was something which flowed so directly from the cross itself, from his own sorrow, from the way he allowed his life to broken open so that it could be shared?
Behold, this child is destined
for the fall and rise of many in Israel,
and to be a sign that will be contradicted
and you yourself a sword will pierce
so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.
Mary was so directly pierced by the suffering of her son that it was precisely in this that she was most united with him in mind and heart, in which she most profoundly participated in his saving mission. She herself, in loving her son, embracing his path, and willing what he willed, allowed herself to be broken open just as he was. She sowed her heart together with his life as a grain of wheat so that she could be part of the abundant fruit he shared with his beloved disciples.
We too are called to allow the suffering of Jesus to pierce our hearts, to break us open, and to transform us from hard-shelled seeds into organisms capable of bearing fruit to be shared. It is even possible that this transformation can take hold so completely that we can rejoice in it.
Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I am filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions for the sake of his body, that is, the church (see Colossians 1:24).
It is in times of difficulty and challenge that we most need to take Mary into our homes. Joseph was invited to do so amidst a trial, and so was John. At first, Mary may seem like an optional extra not essential to the Christian life. When things get rough we may be tempted to prefer a supposedly simpler approach that excludes her assistance. Yet she is given to us in trials specifically because only her heart has ever perfectly conformed her own trials with those of Christ. Further, she wants to teach us how to do the same. Looking at Jesus through her eyes we can learn to love him with the depths of the love with which she loved him. When we bring our brokenness to her she can help learn to offer ourselves in the way her son did. She wants to love in her other children what she first loved in Christ.
And from that hour the disciple took her into his home.
Mary embraced her son's path of suffering, but not for the sake of suffering. She is Our Lady of Sorrows still, but only because she will be much more Our Lady of Joy on the distant side of the crosses we all must bear.
We are called to be members of the household of God, with God as Father, Jesus as our eldest brother, and with Mary as our mother. We are called to live in accord with the great dignity that such an exalted household confers. This household is the Church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of truth. It is not something that is only abstract or theoretical, but rather a participation in the family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph that began in Bethlehem. It is the new Israel of those who believe. To fully share in the truth manifested and guaranteed by the Church we must seek more and more to embrace the fact that it is meant to be a life of family. And family means that our sorrows are no longer for us alone, but can now be shared, can even now, mysteriously, be the cause for joy.
He has given food to those who fear him;
he will forever be mindful of his covenant.
He has made known to his people the power of his works,
giving them the inheritance of the nations.
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