looked up intently to heaven
and saw the glory of God and Jesus standing at the right hand of God
This is not what most of us do when people are infuriated and grind their teeth at us. We have difficulty looking at anything but the anger in front of us. We see the crowd and sense the impending danger. We spend so much time worrying about how we are to speak or what we are to say.
Stephen has trust in his Father in heaven that is stronger than his natural fear. He looks up to God for guidance. He is open to the Spirit of his Father speaking through him. How does he do this? How does he remember it in the heat of the moment? We have a fight or flight response that makes us either run or resist. Where does Stephen find this third option?
Stephen says, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." The words sound familiar because they are the psalmist today, "Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit." They are words which Jesus makes his own on the cross (cf. Luk. 23:46). Where does Stephen find these words when he is surrounded by a crowd seething murderous rage? We can't even find these words when we are cut off in traffic.
Yesterday we celebrated Jesus being born into the world. Today we see what it truly means for him to be born in our hearts and lives. It is more than most of us are ready to accept.
We allow Jesus to come into us in partial ways. He stands at the door and knocks. We answer, but only invite him in to certain rooms. We have a nice chapel that he can see. We have a nice family room for entertaining. But we have these other rooms which could just as easily belong in a haunted house. What is down in that basement, anyway? Is that a laundry room? The mess is so great and the light so dim that we don't invite Jesus into those places. But Jesus does not simply want to be a guest. He wants to be family. And that means we can share all of this with him. There is a real sense in which this house is supposed to be more his house than ours. We can't hold back any of it. He is in fact that only way we'll ever get it all in order.
He wants to fill us so much that we share his own relationship with the Father. He wants us to cry out "Abba" because we are so filled with his own Spirit. He teaches us to trust in the way that Stephen demonstrates this morning, the trust the the psalmist embodies.
Be my rock of refuge,
a stronghold to give me safety.
You are my rock and my fortress;
for your name’s sake you will lead and guide me.
Jesus is born to the world. Today he asks us to allow him to be born in our hearts more than ever. He always wants to do more in us than we are willing to accept. The grace of a baptism is a limitless treasure. Jesus wants to fan it into flame today. Even if our hearts are just humble stables he wants to be placed in the mangers within. As long as he is at the center the rest of the details will work themselves out.
When Jesus is the center of our hearts to this degree his relationship with the Father will manifest. It will take us by surprise. It will not be like a skill we practice until we can even do it in hard times. It is a gift we are given. It is a grace that expresses itself even when we think it won't because of our human limitations.
Jesus is within us. Nothing marks the life of Jesus more than his trust in the Father. When the rooms of our house are dark and dirty, when the crowds are angry and frightening, Jesus gives us the gift of this relationship with his Father anew just as he does with Stephen. We are surprised that we are able to turn to him for the words we should say. But Jesus, standing in the center of our hearts, is ready to say in each of us, "Father, into your hands I commend my spirit."
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