“Stay awake!
But Jesus often finds us sleeping doesn't he? Isn't it strange? We know, somewhere in us, how important he is. But our attention refuses to stay fixed on him.
So you could not keep watch with me for one hour?
We can usually get our bodies in the right spot for an hour. But the quality of our attention suggests we might as well be sleeping. It is so unusual for us to give Jesus the attention we should that we often have profound experiences when we do it. We experience the things surrounding us growing "strangely dim" when we fix our gaze on him.
But we are humans. To be tired is part of our condition. Our attention is limited. If we try to ignore this we find ourselves no stronger than the disciples. We see the importance of what is happening in the garden of Gethsemane juxtaposed against the weakness of the disciples. We see the importance of what is happening at mass against the backdrop of our inattentiveness. We sympathize with Paul when he says "I do not do what I want, but I do what I hate" (cf. Rom. 7:15). We can't even produce quality attention through our own efforts. "Miserable one that I am! Who will deliver me from this mortal body?" (cf. Rom. 7:24).
Jesus tells us to stop trying to do it on our own. Pray! The Spirit comes to aid us! His words, "Stay awake!" actually empower us to do what he says! It almost seems to good to be true.
Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
He himself gives us the strength to stand firm. He sees to it that we are "not lacking in any spiritual gift" as we wait for Jesus to come, in the mass, in our lives, and at the end of time. And we need these gifts. They are the only way we can be prepared. The Spirit himself is the oil in the lamps of the wise virgins. Even the wise virgins fall asleep, but they have the oil of the Spirit. When they hear the cry that the bridegroom is coming they are prepared. They go to meet him with joy (cf. Mat. 25:1-13)
Jesus is coming "at an hour you do not expect" but not because he wants to catch us off guard. He wants to find us ready but he knows that we are human. He himself sleeps in the boat during the storm (cf. Mat. 8:25). But he is more than ready to save his disciples from the storm. We may find that our attention wavers just as the virgins all fall asleep. But Jesus himself gives us oil for our lamps. As long as we pray that we are not put to the test he will see to it that we are not lacking the oil of the Spirit. Then we stand firm as wait. Even if our attention is imperfect it is OK. Now when we hear the cry that bridegroom is coming and we are roused from sleep we are able to meet him with joy. It is all because of his Spirit in us. This same Spirit makes us faithful and prudent servants in all we do. Without him we fail not only in paying attention to him but in paying attention to his presence in our brothers and sisters.
Filled with his Spirit let us join the praise of the psalmist:
Every day will I bless you,
and I will praise your name forever and ever.
Great is the LORD and highly to be praised;
his greatness is unsearchable.
Filled with his Spirit let us discover what a moment of true attentiveness can be, just as Augustine does:
Late have I loved you, O Beauty ever ancient, ever new, late have I loved you! You were within me, but I was outside, and it was there that I searched for you. In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created. You were with me, but I was not with you. Created things kept me from you; yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all. You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness. You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness. You breathed your fragrance on me; I drew in breath and now I pant for you. I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more. You touched me, and I burned for your peace.
No comments:
Post a Comment