6 May 2014 - not a trick of the light

6 May 2014 - not a trick of the light

Let your face shine upon your servant;
save me in your kindness.

As his face shines on us we are transformed from one degree of glory to another (cf. 2 Cor. 3:18).  This is why we need pure hearts.  The pure of heart will see God (cf. Mat. 5:8).  Those with clean hands and pure hearts will be admitted to his holy mountain (cf. Psa. 24:4).  And this is where we want to be in the deepest part of our hearts. 

Stephen shows us what this purity looks like in practice.  He shows us why it is so good and so desirable.  We see that his purity is unshakable before his accusers. His face is not perturbed but looks like that of an angel. Even as he is stoned to death his heart remains fixed with on Jesus.  His attention, his mind, and his heart are one pointed.  He seeks the one thing which is necessary.  And this purity of heart achieves the reward promised by Jesus.

But Stephen, filled with the Holy Spirit,
looked up intently to heaven and saw the glory of God
and Jesus standing at the right hand of God,
and Stephen said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened
and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”

Most of us feel as though, at best, we are gazing through a mirror darkly (cf. 1 Cor 13:12).  We don't see his face as clearly as Stephen does.  We stumble on our way to his dwelling place on his holy mountain.  Let us ask him to send forth his light and his truth to guide us (cf. Psa. 43:3).  Let us ask him to make his face shine on us. We need him to turn our darkness into light (cf. 2 Sam. 22).  It is as though he must shine behind us as we acclimate to his light.  As the light grows and the darkness fades our way becomes more secure beneath our feet.  We are able to seek the kingdom first without stumbling.  But the thing we ultimately seek is not just more light on the circumstances of life.  It is the source of the light which casts out the darkness that we really want.  Only he can satisfy our hearts.  We would prefer to skip the intermediary steps and just turn and face him.  But if we do that now we, like Moses, will die (cf. Exo. 33:20).  His brightness is too great to bear.  But isn't it wonderful to know, even though we don't yet see him directly, that all the light and goodness on our path is because he stands at our back watching over us?

Stephen himself only fully experiences this purity, the purity necessary to behold God face to face, in his martyrdom.  This is the purity which can say from the depths of one's heart and with all of one's being "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit."  How does Stephen become so pure?  Circumstances aren't enough.  Being stoned in itself doesn't help.  We can easily imagine the anger and despair that intermix in such a situation when we are left to our own unaided efforts.

What, then, is the difference between Stephen and the "stiff-necked people, uncircumcised in heart and ears"?  They "oppose the Holy Spirit" whereas Stephen is "filled with the Holy Spirit".  The Holy Spirit is the light of God who enables us to see him.  Without the Holy Spirit God is veiled.  The Eucharist looks like mere bread.  The Scriptures are letters on a page.  Our brothers and sisters are just other people, all but strangers.  Stephen is just Stephen to the crowd.  They can't see the presence of Jesus in him even as he re-presents in his own life the very passion of Jesus.  But with the Holy Spirit Stephen is able to look death in the eye and see instead the gateway to eternal life.

We too are filled with the Holy Spirit in our baptisms.  But often we treat him like a lamp which we cover or hide under a bed (cf. Mat. 5:15).  Maybe this is because his light does not discriminate.  Even as the path to life is revealed so too is the darkness in our hearts.  It is more comfortable to remain immobile in the dark than to turn up this light.  But we need this light.  Only this light can guide us to our ultimate destiny.  And this light is that destiny himself. 

"For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light" (cf. Psa 36:9).

If we are keeping the Holy Spirit hidden in us in order to remain comfortable let us be comforted to know that Jesus stands ready to fan him into flame in us once more (cf. 2 Tim. 1:6).  Let us fix our attention on Jesus with all the one-pointedness we can muster.  He is all that we need.

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life;
whoever comes to me will never hunger,
and whoever believes in me will never thirst.”

Even as we gaze on Jesus, on the one thing necessary, he rises in our hearts like the morning star until we see him clearly (cf. 2 Pet. 1:19).  The Eucharist, the Scriptures, and brothers and sisters all begin to reveal him to us in his light.  Perhaps right now he is just a blur.  Perhaps we are like the blind man who is at first partially healed and sees trees (cf. Mar. 8:24).  Let us keep looking!  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith (cf. Heb. 12:2).  If we do, he comes into focus until we see him so clearly, standing in heaven, that we say with Jesus, with the psalmist, and with Stephen:

Into your hands I commend my spirit;
you will redeem me, O LORD, O faithful God.