28 July 2024 - gather the fragments

Today's Readings

(Audio)

"Where can we buy enough food for them to eat?"

He said this to test him,

because he himself knew what he was going to do.

Jesus already had a plan, but he didn't explain it to Philip, Andrew, or the other disciples right away. Instead he asked them with the purpose of testing them. No doubt this led first to discomfort and uncertainty as one possibility after another proved untenable. If Jesus was so certain of his plan then why put his disciples through this test? There must have been a reason. Furthermore, Jesus still seems to do this with us, his modern disciples. He always knows the plan but still leaves us to struggle to find the answer. What did the disciples gain from this exercise, or how might we in turn grow as a result?

Philip answered him,

"Two hundred days' wages worth of food would not be enough

for each of them to have a little."

If Jesus had not asked as he did the disciples might never have paused to recognize their own insufficiency. If he had simply provided they might never have known the depth of their need. And if they had not known that, could they truly have valued the gift or expressed genuine thanksgiving?

One of his disciples,

Andrew, the brother of Simon Peter, said to him,

"There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish;

but what good are these for so many?"

In looking at the problem from the angle of human solutions and what they could bring to the table they found some resources, although these were obviously insufficient. And yet without these the problem never would have been solved in the way that it was. These were the very loaves and fish that fed the crowds. But if Jesus had not tested his disciples these meager offerings might never have been brought forward.

Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks,

and distributed them to those who were reclining,

and also as much of the fish as they wanted.

It was important that the disciples learn what they were on their own, not so much so they might end in a learned helplessness, but rather so that they would learn to bring what they did have to Jesus. Their own insufficiency included a trivial number of loaves and fish that was definitely not enough for a massive crowd. But they weren't to be so entirely passive as to neglect these treasures. They were meant to learn to bring what they did have to Jesus himself. 

And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that having all sufficiency in all things at all times, you may abound in every good work (see Second Corinthians 9:8).

If they hadn't cared enough to consider the problem or to bring forward the fact that a boy had a meager amount it isn't at all clear how Jesus would have fed the crowds. He didn't need a backup plan, of course, because he knew how his disciples would respond. But his way of proceeding was predicated on the fact that they did indeed bring the food the boy possessed as potential offering. They struggled to see a way forward, and could not in fact find one. But they brought all that they found and felt and thought to Jesus. And by doing so what was far too little became more than enough.

"Gather the fragments left over,

so that nothing will be wasted."

One might wonder why the fragments were so precious if Jesus was a magical bread multiplication machine. And so this too was to be a part of the lesson for the disciples, part of the revelation of his teaching that they received. When he did provide an excess he meant all of it to be appreciated. It was necessary to learn to treasure the leftovers even after one had eaten and was satisfied. Learning to remember the value of a gift even when the need was no longer urgent was no doubt part of the intended lesson. Leftovers were not given willy-nilly as an excuse to be reckless and wasteful. Rather, these were like the excess manna that fell before the Sabbath that was to be collected for the following day.

On the sixth day they gathered twice as much bread, two omers each (see Exodus 16:22).

We know that the preciousness of these fragments hint at a deep Eucharistic theology that runs through the entire feeding of the five thousand as well as the Bread of Life Discourse. The short explanation of this is that when the gift is literally Jesus himself, body, blood, soul, and divinity, then every smallest crumb and every last drop is precious, sacred, and holy, deserving of utmost care and devotion.

When the people saw the sign he had done, they said,

"This is truly the Prophet, the one who is to come into the world."

Since Jesus knew that they were going to come and carry him off

to make him king,

he withdrew again to the mountain alone.

Jesus was not always willing to satisfy the merely natural desires of those who came to him. He didn't want them to misunderstand him to be some kind of Santa like figure who came to attend to our list of wants. He knew that when he did do so we were all too likely to typecast him as precisely this type of figure and not leave room for him to be anything else. We would set him as an earthly king, to be sure, but not leave room for him to be messiah and redeemer. We would be entirely open to his help, but not often open to being changed by him. Jesus wouldn't allow himself to be captured and forced to play an overly simplified role like this. He insisted that when he did provide real physical food that it point toward something greater and more supernatural. There were really two ways an individual who experienced the multiplication of the loaves could respond. One was by remaining the center of their own existence but now trying to insist that Jesus stay on hand to supply the desires of the ego. And the other was to let go of the ego and its fear of scarcity and place Jesus himself at the center. From there, he, rather than the ego, could dictate priorities. And only by yielding to this second option could those who followed Jesus discover the true rest he desired to give them. Then they would truly be sheep, lying in green pastures, fed by the Good Shepherd himself.

BarlowGirl - Enough

John Michael Talbot - I Am The Bread Of Life

27 July 2024 - until harvest

Today's Readings

(Audio)

Master, did you not sow good seed in your field?

Where have the weeds come from?

The slaves asked a perennial question. If the master was good, whence the weeds? Surely if he was good he would have sown only good seed in his field. And could he not have had a vigilant watch kept to prevent enemies from coming to spread malice, even during the night? If God was good, whence evil? Surely the one who neither slept nor slumbered (see Psalm 121:4) could have prevented the coming of the enemy entirely. Yet, just as it appeared that Jesus had been asleep in the boat, insensible to the storm, so too hear did the master not appear to respond to the enemy by blocking him at his approach.

While everyone was asleep his enemy came

and sowed weeds all through the wheat, and then went off.

It cannot be said that the master desired weeds to grow in his field, or that his aspiration for the crop was anything other than the wheat he had planted. And yet we must come to terms with the fact that he didn't stop the enemies plan before it began. After all, he didn't seem entirely surprised by the report of the slaves. He seemed well enough aware of the fact that he had enemies who might attempt such a thing. But perhaps the reason he didn't stop the problem at the outset was similar to the reason he didn't decide to enforce perfection on the field after the fact. Maybe to completely oppose the enemy would have been such a devastating show of force that it would have interfered even with the intended growth of the good seed. It seemed that the intended environment of growth required some room for autonomy where not every variable was directly controlled. If there was no freedom for weeds to grow neither could the wheat grow to be what it was meant to be. However, this possibility to not upset the master. From his perspective even what the enemy meant for harm could be put to good use (see Genesis 50:20). And not only that, seed that appeared to be that of weeds, even in the mind of the enemy, might yet turn out to be wheat at the time of the harvest. The slaves attempts to be overly insistent that only wheat grow in the field would typically result in sabotaging some of the good seed along with the bad. The good seed was so intertwined with the bad that this was inevitable even if the slaves were perfectly able to discern the one from the other, which was in itself unlikely.

His slaves said to him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?'

He replied, 'No, if you pull up the weeds

you might uproot the wheat along with them.

Let them grow together until harvest;

Many of us often express the preference that the stewards of God's field would uproot every weed and leave room only for the growth of perfect plants, failing to realize that in many cases we ourselves are so inextricably connected to the weeds that even we would not pass muster in such a judgment. This is not to say that heresies ought not be opposed within the Church. Clearly ta license to be freely taught in the Church. But the parable does seem to indicate that at an individual level we are not meant to insist on perfection only and immediately. We are meant to have patience until the harvest since God himself is patient. But this is good news. For if we are patient with others we may even become able to be patient and honest with ourselves as we continue to grow.

And consider the patience of our Lord as salvation (see Second Peter 3:15).

Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance (see Romans 2:4)?

Brandon Lake - Praise You Anywhere

26 July 2024 - seed care

Today's Readings

(Audio)

The seed sown on the path is the one who hears the word of the Kingdom

without understanding it,

and the Evil One comes and steals away

what was sown in his heart.

The world is full of such paths. We can't say that there are many people in modern society or contemporary society who haven't heard anything about the word of God. But there are very few who understand what they hear. The seed remains at too shallow of a level to begin the process of growth. Since it remains on the path this happens both accidentally, when people kick and crush the seed without understanding its value, and intentionally, as when the Evil One comes and intentionally targets the seed. What might have just been misunderstandings that could have been cleared up instead become flash points in the culture war as he makes Christianity appear to be a religion of hatred and cultural imperialism.

On one hand, we would want to consider how we can state the central message of Christianity more succinctly, in order to be clear that what is on offer is not what people think they already heard and categorized as backward. As Fulton Sheen once said, "There are not even 100 people in this country who hate the Catholic Church, but there are millions who hate what they think the Catholic Church to be". And this is certainly so. And yet, another implication of the parable is that some of this misunderstanding is inevitable. If the seed is going where it is supposed to go, which is all over the place and everywhere, then there are some places it will land that will only have superficial results. This means that we shouldn't let the perfect be the enemy of the good by only doing our own sowing where the results are guaranteed. We can be content to do our best and expect that at least some of the results will be like seed on the path.

The seed sown on rocky ground

is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy.

But he has no root and lasts only for a time.

When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word,

he immediately falls away.

Why don't people put down the roots that they will need to sustain them in trial? Is it because doing so is an investment that requires commitment and effort? It certainly would be easier to simply enjoy the above ground experience but without changing one's life so as to go all in. This sort of seed is like one who is happy to enjoy well preached sermons and solid worship but never quite makes it to the point of making the changes she knows the word of God would require of her. She would prefer to keep her options open, to be able to move at any moment to something more suited to her preferences. But it is the very roots that grow from conversion and transformation of life that also sustain in times of tribulation and persecution. The process of growth is difficult and requires endurance. But it makes future and greater endurance possible. If one doesn't want to be blown around by every wind of doctrine she needs something that holds her in one place, commitment to one truth and one creed. And a corollary of this being a genuine commitment is a transformation of life to coincide with her beliefs. Any other kind of commitment remains merely at the level of imagination, is not a real root, and cannot actually nourish.

The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word,

but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word

and it bears no fruit.

We don't generally imagine ourselves to be fixated on riches. Yet what is our anxiety all about if not worldly things? There is never any need to be anxious about the treasures of the Kingdom, for those cannot be stolen from us. But our anxieties tend to be expressions of fear about whether we will be able to retain a consistent level of comfort in this life. Even when we mask such fears by describing them as concern about nations and peoples and even family we are still expressing an attachment to our own control over such situations that we are not intended to have. We aren't good enough at playing God to be so insistent on doing so. We are meant to make all such requests known to God (because we are supposed to care about such things) but then to trust him and to allow his own peace to guard our hearts.

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (see Philippians 4:6-7).

But the seed sown on rich soil

is the one who hears the word and understands it,

who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.

There really is a place beneath the soil where the seed can be safely nourished, where the enemy can't steal it, and where thorns can't choke the life from it. But this level of depth is an engagement that does not happen by accident. It calls us to be intentional about focused attention toward the things of God, consciously choosing to regard them as more important than anything else in the world. This is what adult faith is meant to be. It can't be done entirely for us without our involvement. God himself provides all that is needed, a grace that is meant to make us grow. But we, for our part, must embrace it.

The Demeans - Speak, Lord

Matt Maher - The Heart Of Worship

25 July 2024 - you do not know what you are asking

Today's Readings

(Audio)

"What do you wish?"

She answered him,

"Command that these two sons of mine sit,

one at your right and the other at your left, in your Kingdom."

The third prediction of the Passion of Jesus caused James, John, and their mother to apparently engage in damage control. They didn't want to deal with the fact that Jesus said who was going to die. What could that mean but the end of his whole project and mission? They knew, and knew correctly, that Jesus was the Messiah, meant to be the true king of Israel. But how could his death possibly square with this destiny? It almost seemed as though they put on blinders so as to focus on the royal throne rather than acknowledge the barren cross. How else could they make this request immediately on the heels of a prediction of his Passion? 

Jesus said in reply,

"You do not know what you are asking.

The request of the sons of Zebedee contained a good impulse in that their faith in Jesus did not allow them to entertain the possibility that he would not eventually achieve his messianic destiny. But it was limited in that both the way by which he would achieve it and the way that he would conduct his eventual reign would be quite different from earthly models. He was more than King David, greater than Solomon, and his Kingdom was more (though not less) than the unified Israel they had governed. 

Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?"

They said to him, "We can."

He replied,

"My chalice you will indeed drink,

Jesus did want to give royal responsibility to his disciples. But the only way to achieve these positions was to share in the self-offering of Jesus himself. The positions of honor in his Kingdom were not those from which they would lord it over others. Rather, they were the positions were the greater service, sacrifice, and self-gift was required. 

Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you shall be your servant;

whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave.

Just so, the Son of Man did not come to be served

but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.

James and John and the others needed to learn the lesson that no slave was greater than his master, first by actually accepting what that master said about his own cross, and then by sharing it. The fact that the master himself chose the cross for the sake of all was meant to reveal the absurdity in the posturing for worldly position that all of the disciples seemed to indulge. Rather than the cross provoking them to figure out what they could still salvage for themselves it was meant to draw them to desire to give themselves together with Jesus.

We hold this treasure in earthen vessels,

that the surpassing power may be of God and not from us.

To be fair to the disciples they were being called to something that was beyond merely human capabilities or natural powers. They thought they had to adorn their earth vessels to the maximum in order to outshine all others. But what actually mattered was what they allowed to fill those vessels. And that was meant to be from God. Jesus revealed how a life entirely directed by the Spirit of God was to be lived. His disciples were then meant to share in that Spirit.

Since, then, we have the same spirit of faith,

according to what is written, I believed, therefore I spoke,

we too believe and therefore speak,

knowing that the one who raised the Lord Jesus

will raise us also with Jesus

and place us with you in his presence.

Darrell Evans - Trading My Sorrows

24 July 2024 - say not I am too young (or old, or..)

Today's Readings

(Audio)

A sower went out to sow.

We can see that the sower was generous to the point of being reckless with his seed. It must have been fairly obvious that some of the seed was falling on parts of the ground that were unsuitable for growth. He didn't target only areas where a response was certain. And we see this in the ministry of Jesus himself who came and spoke to many who did not receive him, even though he knew that would be the result. He even made Judas one of the Twelve even though he knew he would be betrayed by him (see John 13:11). Whether or not people were willing to respond, his way of spreading the seed was proof that he desired all people to be saved.

And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path,

and birds came and ate it up.

The seed the never makes it into the soil at all probably describes the result of ninety percent of our efforts at evangelization. The Gospel is heard but the world has become very efficient at targeting it with soundbites that seem to contradict it. The world prevents the Gospel from coming under the sustained attention of interested women and men. Instead, such individuals only ever hear the Gospel in fragmentary and stereotypical caricatures. These are easily dismissed by the the smug wisdom of the world. This feeds the birds of pride whose consuming of the seed tends to result in a feeling of superiority. They believe that their bird's eye view reveals that the seed's only possible use is as their food. They cannot see any seed beneath the soil and so they are unaware of the other possibilities it contains.

Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.

It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,

and when the sun rose it was scorched,

and it withered for lack of roots.

We will only be aware of this second possibility when some seeds spring up around us. In the Catholic Church this possibility may seem uncommon. But is it uncommon because the soil is so good? Or is it instead the case that there isn't much breaking through the soil at all? It's true that in our experience we may not see dramatic and rapid conversions that eventually sputter out and collapse. But perhaps it is also true that we do not see many conversions deeply rooted in good soil that sustain themselves over time. This leads us to wonder how we've managed to seal the soil in such a way that both of these phenomena are uncommon. Why is the Church so uninviting that those people who feel the need to suddenly go all in on the Gospel promise tend to do so elsewhere? However, seen in another way, there is a positive here. The Church has been around for so long and is laden was such cultural baggage that it is all but impossible to be unaware of it or to not take it into account during one's conversion. When such conversions do come about they tend to be automatically more mature than other environments that seem pristine on the surface but which mask their own rocks in the soil.

Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.

The other types of soil tend to be risks for targets of our efforts at evangelization. But the risk that chiefly affects ourselves is that of thorns choking off the fruit we ourselves are meant to bear. This is a risk that is hard to talk about or even consider since even now the thorns are probably pressing into us. By the discomfort and anxiety they cause they make us not only reluctant to bear fruit but reluctant to even think about bearing fruit or about the thorns themselves. Any analysis reveals that we must become more uncomfortable before we can do anything to remediate the issue. If we have become too cozy with thorns it isn't likely we'll be able to remove them or to relocate ourselves and remain entirely unscathed. But isn't it kind of terrible to live as a prisoner in this way? Maybe the frustration of being trapped and hemmed in can motivate us to do what is necessary to break free. But to do so we most first discern the problem, not in the abstract and in general, but in ourselves. What are the thorns that threaten us when we try to do good or make positive change? 

But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit,

a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.

Whoever has ears ought to hear.

Why bear fruit? What's the point? Isn't that just someone else trying to use us for motives which we don't share? Absolutely not. It is called fruit because it is what we are intended to produce. It is the result of us being fully alive as creatures of God. If we, like Jeremiah, come to understand God's good plans for us we will learn to trust him. Jeremiah seemed to have thorns of his own that attempted to prevent his growth. But he listened to God and learned to trust him, giving the seed of his word room to grow inside him. May we do so as well.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,

before you were born I dedicated you,

a prophet to the nations I appointed you.

“Ah, Lord GOD!” I said,

"I know not how to speak; I am too young.”

But the LORD answered me,

Say not, “I am too young.”

To whomever I send you, you shall go;

whatever I command you, you shall speak.

Have no fear before them,

because I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD.

Elevation Worship - See A Victory

23 July 2024 - here and my mother and my brothers

Today's Readings

(Audio)

While Jesus was speaking to the crowds,

his mother and his brothers appeared outside,

wishing to speak with him.

It seemed as though his mother and cousins may have been content to wait patiently for an opportune time. It appeared that they did not attempt to interrupt but rather that it was an anonymous someone who was uncomfortable to see them wait while Jesus was speaking to the crowds.

Someone told him, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside,

asking to speak with you.”

This person needed to learn that the crowd was receiving the one thing necessary and that perhaps what the relatives of Jesus desired was something of lesser importance and that could wait until a more convenient time. 

Jesus had always asserted that the Kingdom should be the first priority, even before family. Anyone who preferred father or mother to him was not worthy of him. He did not permit would-be disciples to go back and bury their deceased relatives but insisted that they follow him immediately. His relatives appeared to get this already, and to already by committed to the Kingdom project. But this individual thought he saw important priorities of filial piety enshrined in the law of Moses being neglected and was made uncomfortable. Or at least that is the positive evaluation. He may have actually been trying to make Jesus look bad by this critique. But either way, there is perhaps us in how it would be difficult to answer such a one. We too as may be called to set other priorities to one side for the sake of the Kingdom. It may never be an entirely comfortable proposition at least until it becomes a virtuous habit. 

“Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?”

And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said,

“Here are my mother and my brothers.

These individuals who were with Jesus were also entitled to his love because of the fact that they were his spiritual family. It appeared that for the moment their supernatural needs for truth and life superseded the natural needs of his biological relatives. But this was no slight to his brothers or especially to his mother. The fact that they apparently had less need of him could only be because they had already put into practice doing the will of his heavenly Father. They, then, were already spiritually related to Jesus in addition to their blood connection. But this someone who spoke up and the rest of the crowd did not yet understand the possibility of being connected to Jesus in this way. And so the number one priority of the moment for Jesus was to teach them. No doubt Mary who brought Jesus himself into the world was actually delighted that he should have additional spiritual brothers and sisters. Her purpose was certainly, as ever, one with that of her son.

For whoever does the will of my heavenly Father

is my brother, and sister, and mother.

Owl City - In Christ Alone (I Stand)

22 July 2024 - while it was still dark

Today's Readings

(Audio)

Mary Magdalene came to the tomb early in the morning,

while it was still dark,

and saw the stone removed from the tomb.

Something continued to draw Mary Magdalene toward Jesus even after all earthly hope had failed, even when no rational explanation could provide solace. When she saw that the tomb had been opened her mind didn't immediately jump to credulous hope. She couldn't help but supply conventional explanations. Someone must have taken the body from the tomb. Yet there was something deeper going on within Mary that even her own rational explanations could not entirely sabotage. She gave answers as if to explain everything. But her heart somehow made her remain. Her mind was in darkness. But the love in her will somehow kept her in the place where she was meant to be.

And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb

and saw two angels in white sitting there,

one at the head and one at the feet

where the Body of Jesus had been.

And they said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?"

She said to them, "They have taken my Lord,

and I don't know where they laid him."

Mary's heart was too deeply in sorrow to have any capacity left to be impressed by the angels in the tomb. They were there to mark the place of the resurrection and perhaps to provide answers to those who asked. But Mary's thoughts were too obscured to ask them what there business was in the tomb. Instead she repeated her explanation for what, in her mind, must have happened. And yet Mary, by her love, was still seeking Jesus, just as the Bride in Song of Songs sought him whom her heart loved during the darkness of night.

When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there,

but did not know it was Jesus.

Jesus said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?

Mary had been so crushed by the events of the death of Jesus that she couldn't recognize the angels in the tomb as angels, or even Jesus himself. In some ways the sights may have been so impossible that her rational mind rejected them outright. As with others her eyes may have been prevented from recognizing Jesus until the moment he himself had precisely chosen. All of these appearances only struck her as obstacles to her most important goal, that of finding the body of her Lord. On her own this desire was not enough to recognize the new day that had dawned in the resurrection and to identify the risen Lord in her midst. But it was precisely this desire that placed her in exactly the position to be the first to receive the good news.

Jesus said to her, "Mary!"

She turned and said to him in Hebrew,

"Rabbouni," which means Teacher.

What the dazzling appearance of the risen Jesus could not convey to Mary was communicated by his speaking her name. Jesus had promised that he knew his sheep, that he called them by name, and that they recognized his voice.

The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out (see John 10:3).

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me (see John 10:27).

Even when faith leads us into a dark night where no hope is readily apparent Jesus is more than able to speak a word to our hearts that changes everything in an instant. A world that formerly seemed dark and without hope, even worse then than the one we found when we started our journey, can be revealed to be entirely renewed by the light of the resurrection. Jesus had previously called the name of Lazarus to summon him from death and from the tomb. In a way it was as if he did the same thing here for Mary Magdalene who seemed to have mystically participated in the death of Jesus and who now needed to be called forth into new life.

A time is coming and is here now when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who listen will live (see John 5:25).

Because of the great love Mary Magdalene had for her Lord she was hardly willing to let him go a second time now that she had found him at last. But this sort of prolonged repose with Jesus was not yet to be. There was still a mission for his disciples and for the Church. And it was a mission that would begin and be inaugurated by Mary's own mission to the disciples. By all that she had gone through she became an ideal first witness to the resurrection. By speaking her name Jesus freed her from darkness, gave her new life as his own brother, and therefore as a daughter of God, and made her the apostle to the Apostles.

Mary Magdalene went and announced to the disciples,

"I have seen the Lord,"

and then reported what he told her.

So the sin of mankind is buried in the very place whence it came forth. For whereas in Paradise the woman gave the man the deadly fruit, a woman from the sepulchre announced life to men; a woman delivers the message of Him who raises us from the dead, as a woman had delivered the words of the serpent who slew us.

- Saint Gregory

Today let us thank Mary Magdalene for her witness, since it has at last made its way through generations and years to us. And let us in turn be elevated from whatever darkness threatens to overwhelm us to become, like her, witnesses to the risen Christ.

Red Rock Worship - Good Plans