Jesus said to his disciples:
"If your brother sins against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
Why this insistence on resolving such situations? Wouldn't it be enough to continue to tolerate one another, to simply not respond to sin with sin? Most of us probably realize, when such situations occur, that we would rather not experience the discomfort of addressing them. When sinned against, we would rather simply ignore the offense. Yet this leads to a distance between us and our brother, something still unaddressed in his heart, and a hardening on our own hearts. Jesus, who before this had just finished teaching the parable of the lost sheep, would not have any sheep isolated in this way. He who himself seeks out and saves the lost desires to teach us how to do the same. He has put a high value on the unity of his community, and does not want us to lose the potential power that accrues when we are one.
Again, amen, I say to you,
if two of you agree on earth
about anything for which they are to pray,
it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.
For where two or three are gathered together in my name,
there am I in the midst of them.
This insistence on unity is no small thing. It is the origin of the power of the Church to be a witness to the love of God in the world.
By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another (see John 13:35).
The reason why unity between brothers is not only important but indeed even possible is because of the unity that exists with the Triune God himself. When this God comes to dwell in our hearts he cannot help but draw us outward toward others in a love heals divisions and unites us.
The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me (see John 17:22-23).
Have we experienced the true potential of Christian community, "how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity" (see Psalm 133:1)? This is what Jesus desires for us to value and protect and to seek to restore when it is damaged. Fraternal correction is therefore in no way about being judgmental or meanspirited toward others.
We see that in every way the formula Jesus gives for correction is designed to prevent us from correcting from any motive except love. The fault is to be stated simply and directly, without embellishment. It is never to become gossip. Sometimes others are necessary, either as witnesses, or as mediators, but even then they aren't brought in so we can gossip or broadcast the fault more widely than is necessary. Telling the Church means to tell those leaders whose judgment is more sound than our own, whose authority is more likely to be respected than our own, still entirely done for the sake of the brother.
If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church.
If he refuses to listen even to the church,
then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.
Although this sort of excommunication is an extreme measure it is still motivated by charity. It is designed to help the brother understand exactly the full implications of his behavior so that he can change and be fully rehabilitated. It is a way of saying that we can't pretend things are normal and healthy anymore, and acknowledging that a relationship has been broken. And yet we know that being a tax collector did not exclude Matthew from being called by Jesus, and that even Gentiles were the recipients of his healing power. So even this grave separation from our brother is no excuse to give up on them. It is rather a demonstration that a different and more comprehensive approach is necessary.
When we have the real chance of helping to restore relationships and we fail to take that chance we are potentially hurting both ourselves and those brothers and sisters. In them, we leave a fault uncorrected, something that will continue to damage them from within. In ourselves, by refusing the call to go out in love toward our brothers, we experience the hardening of our own hearts. We become less like Jesus who came to seek and save the lost.
Oh, that today you would hear his voice:
"Harden not your hearts as at Meribah,
as in the day of Massah in the desert,
Let us instead heed the advice of Paul, who makes our duty in such matters marvelously simple:
Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another;
for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
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