She answered him,
"Command that these two sons of mine sit,
one at your right and the other at your left, in your Kingdom."
If this was a normal kingdom this sort of logic of self-promotion would apply. To be fair, they had just heard Jesus say, "you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel" (see Matthew 19:28). Yet the Kingdom Jesus came to establish was not one of domination by those at the top over those at the bottom, but rather of service, because "the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many". To be near to Jesus in his Kingdom was actually a good goal, but to enjoy it, the reason for desiring had first to be purified before it could be enjoyed.
Jesus said in reply,
"You do not know what you are asking.
Can you drink the chalice that I am going to drink?"
The throne of Jesus was intimately tied up with the chalice which he chose not to avoid in the Garden of Gethsemane, and therefore with his cross and with the Eucharistic chalice, all of which represented the gift of his very self to us. If this was the sort of chalice that the king himself chose to drink, then those who wished to sit near him and rule with him would need to share it as well.
They said to him, "We can."
He replied,
"My chalice you will indeed drink
We are somewhat like the sons of Zebedee, pursuing God at first for the benefits that accrue to us. But over time our desire to be near him causes us to take upon ourselves those goals which matter most to the heart of Jesus. Jesus is patient with us, working with our freedom, offering us more of the chalice of his own love as we become increasingly ready to offer that love to others. He does not force us to confront the cross immediately and all at once because he knows that would usually make us run for the hills. Rather, he gradually and gently leads us. We increasingly come to love the gift of his own self-oblation on the cross and desire to reciprocate his love for us by sharing his love with others. Many of us are still at early stages of this process. But the point that is to be patient as Jesus works with us and our process. He will give us more as we are able to handle more. And, "I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" (see Philippians 1:6).
but to sit at my right and at my left, this is not mine to give
but is for those for whom it has been prepared by my Father.
The positions of honor in the Kingdom of heaven are found by those who seek not the honor, but the Kingdom itself. This means that our own approach should that of those willing to take the lowest place, happily surprised if we are called to come nearer. After all, what God crowns in us is chiefly his own goodness.
We hold this treasure in earthen vessels,
that the surpassing power may be of God and not from us.
All of this together means that we need not be shaken if our lives are not like that of those dwelling the kingdoms of fairytales. The chalice of love does not, as we are sometimes tempted to think, represent a problem a roadblock. The lack, on a human level, of success, health, honor, or riches, does not mean we have failed. God's power is not constrained by our weakness, but rather is manifested most perfectly therein. So too, then, the Kingdom itself.
We are afflicted in every way, but not constrained;
perplexed, but not driven to despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned;
struck down, but not destroyed;
always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus,
so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our body.
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