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He said to him, “Follow me.”
He says to everyone, "Follow me." But most of us don't respond as readily as Matthew. We all have our own lists of reasons for why we cannot make a complete and wholehearted response.
But they made light of it and went off, one to his farm, another to his business (see Matthew 22:5).
Another of the disciples said to him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.” (see Matthew 8:21).
When the young man heard this he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions (see Matthew 19:22).
Is the reason for our half-hearted response something like this? Are the concerns of daily life choking the seed of the word of God? Or are we like the Pharisees in whom the word finds no room at all? Maybe we responded once but we now see ourselves as so spiritually healthy as to no longer sincerely seek the divine physician.
Those who are well do not need a physician, but the sick do.
One definitive difference between Matthew and his tax collector friends and the Pharisees and ourselves was that they were deeply aware of their need and we are often numb or deceived in regard to ours. Society did not permit those in the class of tax collectors and sinners to rest easily and peacefully in those positions. They were seen as dishonorable and shameful. But the position of the Pharisees gave them the feedback from those around them that made it easy for them to believe the story they told themselves about being already righteous, about being self-made, and standing in no need of help from anyone.
They answered him, “We are offspring of Abraham and have never been enslaved to anyone. How is it that you say, ‘You will become free’?” Jesus answered them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, everyone who practices sin is a slave to sin (see John 8:33-34).
What stories do we believe about ourselves? The point is not to beat ourselves up with a destructive and false humility. The point is simply to remove the lies that prevent us from realizing our need. What if we could really hear what Matthew heard when Jesus invited him to follow? What if all of our distractions even momentarily lost their grip on us, if we were finally able to see the false promises of fulfillment in this life as empty? If we were so emptied of self-preoccupation might we not recognize in Jesus whatever it was that Matthew saw, something so profound as to be worthy of the gift of one's entire life in response?
Go and learn the meaning of the words,
I desire mercy, not sacrifice.
To some extent we tend to desire sacrifice because it seems to be in some measure under our control and subject to our performance. But that is a misunderstanding of the purpose of sacrifice which was meant to remind us of our need for a savior. We are not meant to ever be so "righteous" that we can live the Christian life on our own apart from the Spirit's gift of grace. If we are in a state of grace now, it is because of mercy. If we persist in one even a moment longer, that too is mercy. But Jesus desires us to trust that his mercy and his grace are sufficient for us, and that to rely on him moment to moment is a privilege.
“How happy I am to see myself as imperfect and to be in need of God’s mercy.”- Saint Therese of Lisieux
Saints tend to realize more deeply their need for Jesus, but it does not make them depressed or dour. It is rather for them a blessing and a benefit that they have at every moment a reason to turn to Jesus, because they have an assurance that he delights to respond.
Once we begin to enter into God's heart of mercy for us we begin to live differently. Provided we continue to live in response to his invitation we will not become cold or closed like Pharisees but will grow instead ever closer to God and to each other.
I, a prisoner for the Lord,
urge you to live in a manner worthy of the call you have received,
with all humility and gentleness, with patience,
bearing with one another through love,
striving to preserve the unity of the Spirit
through the bond of peace
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