Friday, July 22, 2022

22 July 2022 - whom my heart loves


Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping.

Mary Magdalene may or may not have been the woman who anointed the feet of Jesus at Bethany (see Luke 7:46-48). But she was certainly was one who knew herself to be forgiven much, one from whom seven demons had gone out (see Luke 8:2), and who therefore loved much in response. Her love for Jesus made her an embodiment of the archetypal response of the Bride to the Bridegroom described in Song of Songs, and an example for everyone seeking the presence of Jesus in prayer and contemplation.

On my bed at night I sought him
whom my heart loves–
I sought him but I did not find him.

The path of Mary Magdalene was not one of easy and immediate gratification. She stood by the cross as darkness covered the earth and all hope was seemingly extinguished. This impacted her on a human level as much as anyone short of the mother of Jesus himself. She was broken and traumatized by this ultimate manifestation of the realities of suffering and sin in the world. Yet, though she could not understand how or why to hope, she demonstrated a stubborn refusal to give up entirely. She came to the tomb even while it was dark with a darkness that was more than physical. She remained there, pouring out tears that could not now anoint the feet or the one whom her heart loved.

I will rise then and go about the city;
in the streets and crossings I will seek
Him whom my heart loves.

Mary Magdalene continued to focus on Jesus even when there was no human hope of seeing him again. She did not do what we often do in the face of difficulty, which is to go and seek other consolations elsewhere. She truly entered into that space of sorrow, but with an almost irrational desire that she could somehow see him again.

And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?”
She said to them, “They have taken my Lord,
and I don’t know where they laid him.”

She didn't realize that his body would rise again. But her love for Jesus himself made her want to remain connected to him in whatever way she could, even if it was to ensure a proper burial, even if it was to be near him in his stillness and death. Her love for him therefore enabled her to transcend what would have been possible by her considering the situation rationally. Her love brought her close, in spite of the darkness of faith, in spite of the difficulty of emotion. And although her love itself was powerless to change the situation, it put her in the perfect place for Jesus himself to comfort her.

Jesus said to her, “Mary!”
She turned and said to him in Hebrew,
“Rabbouni,” which means Teacher.

Jesus was in some way different now that he had risen, in some way like the gardener in the garden of a new Eden. Mary had to learn to see beyond the ultimately hopeless confines of her old ways of thinking to recognize Jesus. It was the voice of Jesus himself recognizing Mary, comprehending and knowing her so completely, that was the key for her to see in Jesus the same one whom she knew before. 

I had hardly left them
when I found him whom my heart loves.

We can learn from Mary Magdalene to seek Jesus with our loving desire even when everything around us seems dark and hopeless. She shows us what a true response of gratitude to the work of Jesus in our lives can be. She demonstrates for us the ways in which our old and earthly ways of thinking need to be replaced, and how this can only be the result of the voice of Jesus himself. We will face dark times on our own path, but if we continue to seek him whom our hearts love, if we don't run because of fear, or turn aside because of sadness, it can result in a new and deeper encounter with Jesus himself. She was truly impelled by the love of Christ and now lived no longer for herself but for him. May we also experience the full transformational power of his love and resurrection in our lives.

So whoever is in Christ is a new creation:
the old things have passed away;
behold, new things have come.


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