‘A little while and you will not see me,
and again a little while and you will see me,’
Even though what Jesus said was ultimately a sign of hope, a promise that they would see him again, they were unable to understand, afraid to ask Jesus himself for clarification. They discussed it among themselves and "wanted to ask him" but did not ask. They had come to suspect that Jesus was talking about his death and could not imagine how anything good could come from that. To them, "going to the Father" only meant he would be far from them. "A little while" could really mean anything for God to whom a thousand years were like a day. If he was going to die in what sense could they see him again? And wouldn't this all represent the failure of his mission?
The disciples still needed the Holy Spirit to interpret these words of Jesus to guide them into the full truth they contained. Spoken here, in a dark hour, they gave some comfort and some hope, but mixed with doubt and confusion. It was only after the resurrection that Jesus was able to reveal what pertained to him in all of Scripture (see Luke 24:27), causing the hearts of his disciples to burn within them as all of what he had said to them in the past crystalized and became fully intelligible.
Amen, amen, I say to you,
you will weep and mourn, while the world rejoices;
you will grieve, but your grief will become joy.
We have the potential advantage over the disciples that we live on the other side of the resurrection. We know, or have some sense, of why Jesus had to suffer. We appreciate and have tasted the joy of the resurrection in our celebrations of Easter, and every Sunday throughout the year which is itself a little Easter. However, when we are called to bear our own crosses we often act as though this is surprising and unexpected. It seems to us to be something outside of the providence of God, something about which we are afraid to ask. We are afraid that such things befall us because God can't or won't protect us. And we are perhaps even more afraid that such things befall us because he himself permits them to do so. At such times we are deeply afraid to clarify what is meant by a 'little while'. We are afraid to ask him how such things fit into his plans for us. But if we do not let Jesus himself establish the context for our suffering, if we keep them to ourselves and do not bring them to him, we cannot suffer with hope.
you will grieve, but your grief will become joy.
If we bring our sufferings to Jesus, and unite them with his own, it does not immediately dissolve them into joy. But it does allow us to endure them with hope, and, increasingly, it allows his own joy to remain present in us as we follow in the footsteps of Jesus himself. We realize more and more that even if he seems hidden for a moment we will see him again. Each time we will be closer to him than before. Each time our joy will grow until we see him face to face. The same Holy Spirit that revealed the truth about the suffering and death of Jesus as a part of God's plan of salvation also wants to guide us as we face challenges in our own life. He himself desires to be the source of our joy. The more we surrender to his guidance the more we will be filled with his fruits.
“Your blood be on your heads!
I am clear of responsibility.
From now on I will go to the Gentiles.”
The Holy Spirit guides us into all truth. One of the consequences of this can be that we are no longer condemned by failures and setbacks. Our self-worth is transplanted, no longer rooted in self nor in our own achievements. We learn from the Spirit's guidance to brush off the dirt and keep going knowing that every little death has already been swallowed up by life in the resurrection.
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