Saturday, April 30, 2022

30 April 2022 - the deep end


It had already grown dark, and Jesus had not yet come to them.
The sea was stirred up because a strong wind was blowing.

The disciples were stepping out in faith. In the absence of Jesus himself they were trying to follow his directions. "Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side" (see Matthew 14:22). But it was clear that this did not go as smoothly as they expected. It grew dark and a strong wind opposed them. They knew Jesus had miraculous power and yet they appeared to be left to fend for themselves alone and adrift against the storm. They probably expected a journey Jesus told them to undertake would be more of a direct and smooth path from to the distant side of the sea. 

When they had rowed about three or four miles,
they saw Jesus walking on the sea and coming near the boat,
and they began to be afraid.

The storm was already a problem, but somehow the unexpected presence of Jesus was so awe inspiring as to relativize all earthly fear. They began to realize that this was no mere earthly king who entertained with miraculous party tricks to satisfy the crowds. This was something primal and potentially dangerous. It was an appearance so incongruous that they thought it might have been a ghost. And yet the more clearly it was revealed that this encounter was with Jesus himself the more afraid they became. A ghost was one thing, but this one who walked on the waves, who used the divine name, "I AM", as his own, was revealing himself to be true God from true God. The presence of God was more dangerous than any merely earthly storm, and mortals might well fear that such overwhelming power would consume them. But this was a healthy fear, the fear that is said to be the beginning of wisdom, the beginning of a disposition of heart that was sufficiently careful and attentive to the awesome power before them.

But he said to them, “It is I. Do not be afraid.”

As we seek to follow Christ we should not try to avoid all fear of God, demanding a God on our terms, who is safe, family friendly, and G rated. A healthy fear keeps us ready for a God who will continually surprise us, and keeps us safe from offending him by and incautious approach or dismissive reception, or a lack of gratitude after the encounter. What we should desire instead is the peace that comes on the terms of God himself, a peace that is possible precisely because of the fearful and awe-inspiring reality of his greatness and majesty. This is not an either/or situation. We can grow in fear of the Lord and by that means grow in turn in a peace that surpasses all understanding. We can more and more hold the right thing in fear, the love of which casts out all lesser fears.

They wanted to take him into the boat,
but the boat immediately arrived at the shore
to which they were heading.

Theophanies never last so long as we would like. The disciples would have been happy to remain on that boat with Jesus, worshipping him, forgetful of the mission that still awaited them. This was the same impulse that caused Peter to desire for Jesus to remain on the mount of Transfiguration. Indeed it almost seems unfair that the lengthy part of the experience was storm whereas everything after the appearance of Jesus concluded "immediately". 

He alone stretches out the heavens
and treads upon the back of the sea (see Job 9:8).

We too often find ourselves at sea, in the dark of evening, fighting strong winds. Our purpose in such difficulties should be twofold. First, let us continue to pursue the distant shore according to the directions already given by Jesus, not changing from his will when we meet desolation or difficulty. Second, let us be on the watch for Jesus himself. By our longing for him and by our searching we draw and invite him to ourselves. He may likely not come as quickly as we would like, and his appearance will by no means come as something under our own control. Our expectations will always be inadequate and shattered by how he chooses to reveal himself. But the revelation is something we cannot receive before being to some extent left to our own resources, left to come to terms with our own insufficiency. The revelation is something that we can only experience when we abandon our insistence that Jesus remain a tame and predictable God. But the consequence of this revelation is also twofold. First, Jesus himself speaks his peace to us in a way that even the storms cannot oppose. Second, we find ourselves suddenly unhindered on the path of our mission. Things that were once obstacles no longer stop us. We quickly, even immediately, arrive at the next waypoint on our journey.

They saw the works of the LORD,
the wonders of God in the deep.
He commanded and roused a storm wind;
it tossed the waves on high (see Psalm 107:24-25).








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