“Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause whatever?”
The question yesterday about forgiveness leads naturally into a question about the indissolubility of marriage. Those willing to forgive only seven times would naturally think that lifelong marriage would be an unsustainable enterprise.
His disciples said to him,
“If that is the case of a man with his wife,
it is better not to marry.”
What we need to understand is that, at a natural level, unaided by grace, they are correct. The natural state of the heart is hard, the natural condition of the mind is darkened. This is true to such a degree that God saw fit to allow divorce temporarily until he could address the root of the problem. What we learn from this is that, just as peace between Christian brothers isn't a merely natural reality but rather supernatural, so too is marriage between men and woman meant to be a spiritual reality, sustained by the grace of the Spirit himself. Realizing this should make us a little more understanding about the way the world struggles with making marriages last, and even how it wrestles with and tries to reinvent the very idea of marriage itself. It should also remind those who are married of the need for their marriages to be constantly sustained by the font of divine grace, the need to resist the temptation to try to coast or become complacent.
Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.
Marriage is a reality wherein God joins two and makes them one flesh. When individuals try to do this apart from grace they find themselves close to one another, perhaps, but in a way that is may often feel like they are bumping into one another rather than truly united. God and God alone is the one who makes it a dance. This is not to say that non-Christians never touch this reality, but it for them it is a reality into which they can only stumble. Christians, who can embrace it intentionally, should be exemplars of what is possible. If this is not always the case perhaps it is because they have not been told what is possible, and what power exists to assist them.
I gave you a land that you had not tilled
and cities that you had not built, to dwell in;
you have eaten of vineyards and olive groves
which you did not plant.
Our forgiveness of others is meant to be based in the mercy that God first had for us. So too are the covenants of our marriages meant to reflect the covenant fidelity of God to his people. This means that, as for Israel, couples can trust God to lead them, to bless them, to take their side against whatever challenges they face. This unconditional love of God for them can then become their own love for each other. The Amorites, the Perizzites, Canaanites, Hittites, Girgashites, Hibites, and Jebusites that try to come between them and the promises of God will be scattered before them, the strongholds of the enemy cast down, as long as they let the Lord lead them.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,
for his mercy endures forever;
Give thanks to the God of gods,
for his mercy endures forever;
Give thanks to the LORD of lords,
for his mercy endures forever.
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