I say to myself, I will not mention him,
I will speak in his name no more.
But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart,
imprisoned in my bones;
I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.
Jeremiah doesn't want to carry the cross that is given him. And really, who does? By definition the cross is sorrow, pain, and suffering. For Jeremiah it is "derision and reproach all the day". But there is something inside him that won't let him give up. It is something which is inside of us as well. The word of God is planted in him. The desire for God draws him onward and upward even when the pain seems too great to bear.
O God, you are my God whom I seek;
for you my flesh pines and my soul thirsts
like the earth, parched, lifeless and without water.
We thirst because we do not have in fullness. We have tasted and seen but we long for still more. We know only this water can satisfy.
Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself,
take up his cross, and follow me.
For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it,
but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.
We need to come to see this cross as God sees it. The cross is worth it. On the far side of the cross is resurrection and life and the water of life for which we thirst. We feel duped into taking it up like Jeremiah, but ultimately we are glad for it. And our desire for that gladness can help us to pursue it with all that we are. It can transform something which we are forced to do into intentional worship of God.
I urge you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God,
to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice,
holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship.
Here is where desire meets fulfillment. Let us offer our whole selves in exchange for it. With minds renewed we see that we are not duped. We carry our crosses in a way that is good and pleasing and perfect. We are no longer tricked or overwhelmed. We are worshiping God by the power of his Spirit in us. In return we receive the promised reward.
For the Son of Man will come with his angels in his Father's glory,
and then he will repay all according to his conduct.
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